3 Signs Your Child May be Struggling with Addiction

Adults aren’t the only ones who suffer from substance addiction; many children suffer as well. Are you a parent concerned about your child’s sudden change in behavior? Our guest blogger below offers insight on ways to communicate, help and signs to watch out for with your child.

Drug addiction is a serious problem in the United States. It’s not limited to adults; many children have a substance addiction. Sometimes, the signs that a child is struggling with substance abuse mimic the symptoms of mental disorders, such as depression or anxiety, or even the signs of puberty. It can be easy to overlook the symptoms, because it’s very difficult to admit that your child may have a problem. The best step you can take is to get professional help if you notice changes in your child’s behavior for which there isn’t another reason.

Watch for these signs:

  1. Problems in school, missing classes, a decline in academic performance or a loss of interest in school
  2. Trouble with the law
  3. Changes in relationships with friends and family, acting withdrawn or hostile

Your child may also have changes in grooming habits, eating and sleeping. When the patterns change for more than a week, you may need to look at the underlying causes. Grief can mimic the signs of substance abuse. You don’t want to rush to judgment, but you do need to take control of the situation.

3 Ways You Can Help

When someone is struggling with addiction, he or she may become deceitful and react negatively to any suggestions of help. You have to be assertive, but not confrontational. What can parents do?

  1.  Strengthen your relationship with your child. Ask open-ended questions about what’s going on in your child’s life. Open-ended questions cannot be answered with a yes or no answer. You want more communication with your child. Ask questions that let him or her express their concerns and struggles. Focus on what’s good and be understanding.
  2. Create and reinforce guidelines. Setting boundaries with a teenager is difficult when there is no addiction problem, but when you have the added pressure of substance abuse, you will have to be strong. Work with your child to create consistent rules that are enforceable. If a certain behavior occurs, then this will be the response. You may not be able to cover every contingency, but you can certainly establish rules and consequences for the most common issues. This lowers the emotionally-fueled reaction that isn’t productive.
  3. Encourage positive behaviors. You will need to help your child learn new healthy coping skills and build better relationships through the healing process. You have to be a cheerleader that encourages your child to change. You cannot solve each of the problems created by drug abuse, but you can focus on positive messages.

You can do it.
You can be successful.
You are important in my life.
What can I do to help?

Many substance abusing teens will be reluctant to enter treatment unless compelled by the court system or their family. An intervention is not always the best method to get a child struggling with substance abuse into a program. Instead, you should encourage your child to talk to a professional about the problem to address their concerns and to find the best solution. Take care of yourself as you care your child’s needs. You don’t need to deal with burnout, stress and depression when your child needs you at your best.

Author Byline

Daniel Gellman

Dan Gellman is the Director for High Focus Centers, a provider of outpatient substance abuse and psychiatric treatment programs in New Jersey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.
©2017 Our Young Addicts All Rights Reserved.

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12 Steps for a New and Improved You

It’s time to ask yourself how each of these 12-steps can be applied in your life. Time for self-reflection is important during the recovery process. This week’s guest blogger believes there are new ways to apply a 12-step program to your everyday life. MWM

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Everyone is searching for useful solutions to improve their daily lives. These solutions could include taking self-improvement steps to become a better daughter or leading a better life by eating healthier. Another source for lifestyle change advice are the 12 steps for everyone to help cope with alcohol and drug addiction.

 

12 step programs are programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA). These programs require people to participate in a series of steps to address their alcohol or drug abuse or certain behaviors, such as overeating or compulsive gambling. The powerful meaning behind the principles of AA can help bring positivity into your life.

 

The original mission behind Alcoholics Anonymous was to offer 12 steps for everyone struggling with alcohol abuse. In the past, people thought that alcoholism was a personal flaw. The originator of AA, Bill Wilson, wanted to attach morals and values to alcoholism recovery. Addiction recovery professionals find that the group therapy offered by such programs as Alcoholics Anonymous can help monitor, encourage, and stabilize the lives of their participants, creating better lifestyles without alcohol.

 

PsychCentral gives a great summary of the general purpose of the AA 12 steps for everyone looking to improve their lifestyle. Recognizing the problems you want to change is the first step in the road of self-improvement. This might be the easiest step for most people. However, acknowledging your problem might come with surrendering the idea that you can fix the issue you are facing. With addiction, sufferers cope with their problems by thinking substance abuse will control their feelings. These feelings are often feelings of hopelessness, anger, fear, anxiety, emptiness, or other emotions.

 

The surrendering phase can lead to a natural building of a person’s self-esteem. There is a level of self-awareness that takes place when people surrender themselves and take personal inventories of their lives.

 

Later steps are also crucial. Self-acceptance is the final key to making a valuable change. Therapists and lifestyle coaches agree that self-acceptance of personal limitations can give way to brainstorming achievable goals.

 

Below is a list of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. How do you think you can use the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 steps to improve your lifestyle?

 

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

 

About the Author: 
Zena Dunn writes about personal improvement, preventive health, and 12 steps for everyone. Her knowledge of health related information spans five years of individual research.  She is a wildlife protection advocate and enjoys reading biographies. Connect with Zena on Twitter twitter.com/writerzena

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

A New Approach to Drug Education

Conversations about drugs and alcohol are nerve-wracking and tricky. These conversations must take place as they can impact further or future usage. Today’s guest blogger takes a fresh approach and give tips on how to approach the tough conversations. MWM

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Some people may agree that traditional drug abuse prevention efforts have missed several opportunities to do what they should do best: educate and provide facts. Why is alcohol dangerous? No idea. Can marijuana cause permanent brain changes? Who knows. Why shouldn’t we steal our parent’s painkillers? What’s the worst that could happen? That’s why ProjectKnow.com, a website dedicated to educating adolescents and their families about substance abuse powered by Recovery Brands, created its first-ever podcast focused entirely on accurate, research-based drug education: Let’s Talk Drugs.

We’ve found that misinformation surrounding drugs is often soaked in myth, without any factual evidence to support it. While many teens and young adults understand that injecting heroin can kill a person, the unfortunate reality is that relatively few recognize the dire health risks of something as common as regular weekend bar nights. Many people don’t understand that alcohol is one of the most prevalent, dangerous, and addictive substances, yet it’s rarely talked about in health classes. This is just one example of countless drug misunderstandings that can have serious consequences.

We wanted to do something about these misconceptions and help create more open conversations around substance use, from taking a critical eye to the many ways that our modern culture glamorizes it, to debunking common myths and explaining in a digestible language how drugs actually affect the brain. Rather than using traditional scare tactics, we wanted to show that it’s okay — and important — to acknowledge the facts about drugs.

The education that surrounds drugs must address both sides of the issue: acknowledging the allure while simultaneously highlighting the risks.”

For the most part, the people who are going to try drugs will do it regardless of efforts and attempts of scaring them away from it. Instead of approaching drug education with “just say no,” we want to see a culture shift that explains why saying “no” is in a person’s best interest.

So instead of saying, “Don’t smoke weed because it’s bad for you” (with the implied “just trust me because I’m an adult” thrown in), let’s say, “There’s never been a recorded case of lethal marijuana overdose and it can help with certain medical conditions, but research has shown that using it regularly can cause long-term functional brain changes that can affect learning, memory, and the ability to control your impulses.”

One of our major goals is to encourage everyone to ask questions about drugs. We want parents, teachers, and even peers to take advantage of the opportunity to talk openly about substance abuse, and we hope to help guide and encourage these conversations with the podcast.

  • Listen with your kids. Listening together as a family can be a bonding experience that shows your kids it’s okay to ask questions about drugs. Creating a safe space to communicate is a vital part of drug education and prevention.
  • Play episodes in school. Educators play a major role in helping to prevent substance abuse. Listening to this form of drug education as a class is a fun break from the normal day-to-day lessons, and it opens the floor to questions and critical discussion afterward.
  • Research together. Sometimes young adults prefer to absorb new information on their own. Listening separately isn’t a bad thing- it gives everyone time to privately absorb the information and organize their thoughts and feelings about the topic. Bring these reactions, along with any other questions that may come up, to a family drug talk where everyone investigates substance facts together.
  • Assign fun homework. Schools — and parents — can assign the podcast for a fun, out-of-the-ordinary homework assignment. Ask students to listen and bring critical questions to a group discussion.
  • Simply listen. Even if you’re unsure about a group or family discussion, encouraging your children, family members, local organizations, and schools to explore new ways to absorb and communicate vital drug information will help provide the substance education kids need.

One of the most important parts of drug education is critical engagement, which is why we cannot shy away from these discussions. I was fortunate enough to have a very open household when it came to substance use discussions. My parents’ message was always, “If you’re going to experiment, make sure you are safe.” They always encouraged me to investigate the available research on drugs that I was curious about so I could identify any potential dangers as well as any long-term effects the drugs may have. We had very open conversations about addiction as well.

 Both sides of my family have a history of alcoholism, so it was always important for my parents to speak frankly with me about the very real risk of developing an alcohol dependence.”

Because of these conversations, I was always extremely cautious with my own substance use, keeping a close eye on my usage patterns and behaviors. When I noticed an unhealthy pattern of drinking in college, I was able to quickly identify it and work to change it. I was extremely fortunate to have a family that was so open and honest about drug talk, but starting that conversation can be intimidating for a lot of parents and educators. Sometimes the fear of indirectly encouraging drug experimentation overpowers the desire to educate, which is where we hope to step in.

Communication is certainly not the only key to dismantling the widespread issue of substance abuse and addiction, but it is a major part of early education and prevention. Teens and young adults are still developing the brain network necessary for action planning and impulse control, and the earlier we can reach them with important drug facts, the better prepared they will be when faced with drug use decisions. There are many parts to this puzzle, and we aim to contribute in our own way.

Let’s Talk Drugs takes a non-judgmental approach to drug talk so we can show that being honest about drug education doesn’t mean encouraging use. We really want teens and young adults to feel safe asking questions about drugs- they’re fascinating substances that inspire a whole lot of curiosity, and that’s awesome!

If we can motivate teens and young adults to take a close look at drug use and the potential consequences that come with it, then they will be equipped with the tools they need to make informed decisions.”

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About the author:

unnamed-1After completing her undergraduate work in perceptual processing, Lauren Brande was awarded a scholarship from the Western Psychological Association. She completed her Master of Arts degree in Psychology from Boston University in 2014 and found she had a particular interest in the effects that drugs and trauma have on the functioning brain. She’s currently a senior content writer for Recovery Brands, which is a provider of digital addiction treatment resources operating a portfolio of websites such as ProjectKnow.com, Rehabs.com and Recovery.org. Lauren believes all research should be digestible and accessible to everyone. Her passion fuels her desire to share important scientific findings to improve rehabilitation.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Recipe For Recovery

Today’s guest blogger was a panelist at the Statistics to Solutions co-hosted by Our Young Addicts and Know the Truth in May 2017. She points out the reality of co-occurring disorders in young adults, such as eating disorders and substance use. MWM

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As a psychologist specializing in the treatment of eating disorders for the past 13 years, we are seeing more and more individuals in eating disorder treatment programs who suffer from both an eating disorder and a substance use disorder. In fact, we know that between 30-50% of individuals with an eating disorder also struggle with a substance use disorder and vice versa. This includes men and women of all ages and backgrounds-eating disorders and substance use disorders don’t discriminate! Often times the substance use disorder and eating disorder are intimately intertwined and if you try to treat one disorder, the other disorder is likely to get worse. This can certainly complicate treatment and it is important to consider this as you navigate your journey to recovery.  

I wrote this piece, “Recipe for Recovery,” a few years ago for eating disorder awareness week. I think it is perfect for not only those struggling with eating disorders but those who may be struggling with a substance use disorder or really any number of mental health disorders. When you see the word eating disorder below, feel free to substitute it with substance use disorder, depression, etc.

When I think about what it takes to recover from an eating disorder, it is really many things working together … it is not just getting treatment, being motivated, or having a good support system.

It actually reminds me more of a recipe. Recipes are something we usually think of when we think about cooking but I would throw out to all of you that we use “recipes” in many areas of our lives. Whether it is getting into college, developing your career, being in a relationship with someone, or parenting a child. These all require several steps or components to be successful.

Webster tells us that the word recipe means:

  1. A set of instructions for making or preparing something
  2. A medical prescription or
  3. A method to attain a desired end

I think this really fits for the journey of recovery, similar to cooking, recovering from an eating disorder takes a cup of this, a dash of that, and a pinch of something else. When you get all of the ingredients in the mix, there is an incredible life of opportunity and experiences waiting for you.

I asked several people that I have worked with over the years about some of their key ingredients to recovery so I could share some of their insights. I wasn’t too surprised to learn that people didn’t feel like it was an isolated thing that got them to recovery but rather several things coming together over time that led them to a life free of their eating disorder.

First, everyone felt like their formal treatment was an important piece. Without that as a foundation, recovery would not have happened.

Another element that people viewed as an important ingredient was willingness. Whether that means trying treatment, doing things that are scary, trying a different treatment approach if things aren’t going well or trying new things in life, willingness played a key role in their recovery. One individual shared: “Maybe you’re not completely 100% on board with getting rid of your eating disorder, and that’s OK, but you have to be willing to learn new things and consider new perspectives on your body, your thoughts, your emotions and the world you live in. I really thought the world was black and white; I either did things wrong or I did them right, and there was only one right way to live your life. Learning about gray areas and the complexities of living life were really beneficial to me.”

Trust was another important item, and it took many different paths. For some it was trusting their treatment providers, for others it was trust in themselves that they could do what they needed to do and it wouldn’t be the end of the world.  Others mentioned learning to trust their body-the idea that if we take care of our bodies, our body will take care of itself.

Another significant item that everyone mentioned was trying new things in order to develop a new identity outside of the eating disorder. One individual shared with me “I was a passionless person and didn’t really care about anything except losing weight and doing everything right. When I was physically healthier, it helped me tremendously to care about something outside of myself.”

Related to this, people found that when they developed new interests outside of their eating disorder, it also helped connect them to people, which played a big role in their ability to move beyond the eating disorder.

Patience and priority were two other items. Patience in that getting to recovery often takes people longer than they ever anticipate with twists and turns along the way.  Priority in that we all live in a very busy world with a lot going on but figuring out how to prioritize recovery so that it gets the time and attention it needs rather than trying to fit it in around other things.

So today I would encourage all of you to think about what are your key ingredients to recovery? What do you already have and what might you need to add to the mix? No matter where you are along your journey, everyone has some of the ingredients they need to start to build their recipe for recovery.       

 

About the Author: Screen Shot 2017-07-11 at 11.37.21 AM

Heather Gallivan, PsyD, LP, is the Clinical Director at Melrose Center. She joined Melrose in 2004 and has helped eating disorder patients recover and realize their full potential in all levels of care from outpatient to residential treatment. She is a passionate leader and teacher concerning the prevention and treatment of eating disorders, and how societal messages impact our beliefs and attitudes about food, weight, and body image.  You may have seen her passion for education and expertise on display in the local media or as a speaker at a state or national conference for healthcare providers. Prior to joining Melrose Center, Dr. Gallivan served 5 years in the Unites States Navy as an active duty psychologist. In addition, she teaches a course on eating disorders at the Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies.

Melrose Center heals eating disorders, with locations in St. Louis Park, Maple Grove and St. Paul. Melrose treats all eating disorders in all genders and ages, through outpatient and residential programs. Specialty programming is available for those struggling with an eating disorder and substance abuse. The program includes individual and group programming focused on treating the eating disorder and substance use disorder together by professionals specially trained to work with both conditions. Visit melroseheals.com.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Sober Houses: Finding the Right Balance between Freedom and Supervision

Sober houses are important to many during the process of recovery. But, sober home owners have a difficult task of maintaining a balance between freedom, supervision, and patients within the home. MWM

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It has been my experience in the 20-plus years I have worked in mental health and chemical dependency, that it is a rare individual indeed who starts out in early recovery saying that they want more supervision than what they have at any given time. When I come across people who say that, they are usually the ones who also ask the question of the professional “what do I do?”, as opposed to “I got this,” or “I know that I have things to learn about myself”, instead of “Of course I know who I am and what makes me tick!” It is typically those individuals, the ones who recognize how little they know, who I would put my money on, even if I could gamble…a-hem… to have a more long-term sustained recovery.

It has also been my experience that pretty much nobody who has any amount of sober time ever looks back in retrospect and complains that they had too much supervision. People typically don’t like that supervision when it’s happening and then love that they had it as they reap the benefits by way of their recovery.

It has also been my experience that pretty much nobody who has any amount of sober time ever looks back in retrospect and companies that they had too much supervision”

It is in that spirit that I believe that a sober house should have restrictions so that a person knows that there are external boundaries placed on them, with an intention of helping them to eventually internalize their own sober boundaries. I believe in a zero tolerance policy inasmuch as it is not only critical that the individual knows that they will be held accountable for using, but also that there is a responsibility that all house members have to those who might still be struggling by not bringing substance, or using behaviors, into their sanctuary, which is how I see a sober house.

Likewise they cannot have guests come over inebriated. In my house I have a rule that states that if a tenant is using in the home I have the right to UA, or breathalyze, and if found to be using they need to leave the house, as in; pack up and have their stuff out as soon as the law allows. If guests are using they are not allowed back to the home. The idea here is that drugs and alcohol, in this home, are the enemy, and I will guard that portal with every ounce of right and might that I have to protect my tenants from that evil. Okay, I get that might come off a bit melodramatic, but it is conceptually accurate. I don’t see drugs and alcohol inherently evil in and of themselves, but to those of us in recovery, oh, buddy, you better believe that they are!

People in recovery should have easy access to bus routes and available jobs within walking distance of bus routes. Exercise is very important to recovery and sometimes people won’t be able to afford a gym membership, so I have an elliptical and weights indoors. I have home entertainment in the form of billiards, Foosball, board games and a deluxe entertainment system. They should have access to meetings and even treatment if things go poorly. I should point out that I would allow a tenant to stay in the home of they came to me and if they said that they used and that they didn’t come home out of respect for the rules, that they are interested in staying and working on their recovery I would not ask them to leave, but now do something different than what they were doing before vis-à-vis their recovery.

It is important to acknowledge that extra people in any environment cause a change in dynamics, which might be detrimental to those who live there”

I think that restrictions around overnight guests are valuable inasmuch as early recovery is not the time to be developing new relationships. Even if the tenant isn’t in early recovery, or is already in a long-term relationship, it is important to acknowledge that extra people in any environment cause a change in dynamics, which might be detrimental to those who live there. Keeping in mind that people, regardless of sobriety status, do have interpersonal relationships which they will develop and cultivate I think that allowances should be made over time when a person has shown stability in their recovery.

Finally I will bring this back around to the beginning inasmuch as I think that it is the responsibility of the home owner, or program owner, to develop and cultivate harmony in the home to the degree that they are able. This is tricky business while keeping in mind that one cannot and should not discriminate. While I have the last word, I always get the input of existing tenants. But what does the owner do if they suspect a new client is still using drugs or drinking alcohol? What if that person seems like they are going to clash with another house member? There are a lot of things to consider and a balance that needs to be, if not attained, then certainly sought after. Even if one does attain balance, given the transitory nature of sober living, one thing is sure, it will change.

 

 

About the Author:Screen Shot 2017-07-10 at 3.18.42 PM

Dakota Baker is a professional in the mental health and chemical dependency world. He started Dakota Therapy in 2009, and has over 20 years of experience. Recently, he opened a sober house outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

 

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Dear Parents…

Parents play a vital role in the recovery of addiction in young adults. Our guest blogger today has years of experience with young adults and parents, and advises our readers on how to take back their parenting from addiction. MWM

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Dear Parents,

An epidemic of drug addiction with our kids today is scarier then ever! Every day on national and local news, more and more stories keep pointing to the opiate epidemic, overdoses, and addiction of our young people.  These kids have parents whose hearts are breaking and need ongoing support and strategies to take back their parenting from the addiction of their teens and young adults. I believe no parent ever intentionally wakes up each day and decides to harm their kids.  Yet, with the affects of addiction on their parenting, most of these parents find it difficult to believe that their kids really care about them and they feel overwhelmed and powerless. Many of these teens and young adults have the following in common that parents need to know: (1) remorse for what they have done to their families; (2) loneliness, sadness, rage, fear, and shame; and (3) love for their parents.  How do I know?  I surveyed 300 teens and young adults newly sober from a recovery high school and sober living programs with young adults in recovery during the past 4 years. Their responses were heart felt, wise, and important to share with parents. They want you and need you in their lives even if they show otherwise.

One of the questions asked to the teens and young adults was:

“Dear Parents, I wish you knew this about me-“

 

  • I did my best and tried to be stable, but couldn’t.
  • I wish you knew how much I have suffered.  Sometimes I feel that they only saw my maladaptive behavior as an attack against them rather than a cry for help or an act of desperation.
  • I’m trapped in a vicious cycle of using because I can’t gain trust and I’ve given up.
  • I have really struggled.
  • I deeply regret hurting them.
  • I love them and never wanted to hurt them with my addiction.

 

 

Who are these kids?

Many of these teens and young adults have been through treatment anywhere from one to nine times. Drugs of choice range from alcohol to marijuana to street drugs, prescription drugs, designer drugs, opiates, and heroin. Many of them have been bullied in grade school, middle school, and high school. Quite a few of them have been sexually or physically abused. Developmentally, many experience delays socially, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Through the years, I have worked directly and indirectly with thousands of adolescents and young adults all over the country. Their stories are heartfelt and telling. Many are children of addicts, many are in recovery, and many have co-occurring mental health challenges. Most of them don’t know how to step out from active addiction and remain sober. Many of these children have mental health challenges that went untreated or were unsuccessfully treated. These include depression, anxiety, severe mood disorders, and learning disabilities. Many of these children mask untreated mental health issues with addiction to ease their pain. Most of the teenagers and young adults have dual diagnoses of chemical dependency with coexisting mental health challenges.

“How did addiction affect your relationship with your parents?”

 

  • When I was depressed, I totally shut down and blocked my parents out, which caused them to try harder.
  • They lost trust in me, and I’m not sure when it will ever be back
  • They were scared I would kill myself
  • I completely disappointed them

 

Different Children, Similar Messages

No matter where these children come from, no matter their substances of choice, and no matter their ages, the message to their parents is the same:

  • Be present with me physically and emotionally.
  • Build a relationship with me.
  • Console me if I am having a problem.
  • Do absolutely everything to stay together and not get divorced.
  • Don’t let your mental health problems wreck your family’s life.
  • Don’t try to buy me with things or trips.

  • Give me more attention.
  • 
Have family dinners and get to know me.
  • Help me know I’m not a bad person.
  • 
Listen to my point of view. 
Make sure I know that I can tell you anything without judgment.
  • Show me that you love me.
  • Take time to learn how I think and feel.

 

Addiction/mental health challenges often suck the life out of parents due to their enmeshment, and inability to know how to detach and make difficult decisions. To take charge again in their families, parents need support during that first year of recovery when there are so many new challenges.  Family programs only begin the journey. Parents have years of habits of parenting that maintained an addicted family system.  The 5 steps below teach parents how to shift their family, empower their parenting and not let addiction be in charge again. There are very few ongoing programs after treatment that  support parents directly.

From my research and interviews with parents, the following 5 steps of foundational parenting were instrumental in teaching parents to regain their parenting, and restructure their relationships with their kids. Parents who were part of groups, weekend programs, coaching, regained hope and strength to heal their parenting and in turn their families. Identifying concrete action steps or strategies that can be used in their relationship with their kids, gives parents something tangible that can be practiced at home daily.

 

The following 5 steps of Foundational Parenting, teaches parents to:

  • Practice being present with their children
  • Develop emotional attunement
  • Act and respond non judgmentally with their children
  • Create sacred family time and recreate rituals
  • Clarify values, rules and boundaries-natural/logical consequences

Healthy parenting is vital for a child’s continued sobriety. A healthy parenting approach does not allow for a child’s moods or actions to cause reactions that escalate into a destructive situation. The addiction or threat of a relapse is no longer permitted to rule the home, depleting the parents’ energy and power. When parents are clear about their values and expectations and adhere to them, children can push and test, but healthy parenting doesn’t allow this to influence them into bending the rules. In this way, children know that parents “mean what they say and say what they mean.”

One parent so eloquently shared this message after a year of working on these 5 steps, “I can finally own my emotions, our family values and create a family where addiction no longer rules our life.”  Recovering teens and young adults need parents on board to provide a healthy family to help them sustain their recovery and deal more effectively with the ongoing high rate of relapse.  Parents also need support during the first year of their loved ones recovery to help them maintain healthy parenting and healthy family.

 

About the Author:

unnamed-1.jpgBarbara Krovitz-Neren, MA- coaches parents of teens and young adults who are chemically dependent or have mental health challenges and consults with programs to enhance parent involvement in recovery using her foundational parenting model.   She has been a youth and parenting advocate for more than thirty-five years. As a pioneer in the addiction prevention field, she has created dynamic programs that have impacted more than 50,000 youth, adolescents, and young adults around the country. Barbara has trained individuals in school districts, community social service agencies, and parent groups, both nationally and internationally. She was also one of the founding board members of the National Association of Children of Alcoholics. Her work on behalf of children and families has earned her numerous awards over the years. The 5-Step Foundational Parenting Program is the culmination of her life’s work in her new book, “Parenting the Addicted Teen, a 5 Step Foundational Program.” Published by Central Recovery Press.  Release date, July, 2017.

 

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

What are they thinking? Substance use and the developing brain.

When you spend your days working with parents and kids within a public school district, it helps to know a thing or two about brain development and neuroscience. That’s exactly why we asked Judy Hanson, chemical health coordinator for Wayzata Public Schools and prevention expert, to be part of our From Statistics to Solutions conference. She shared her expertise and experience on a panel that explored how the brain develops and how this correlates with substance use and co-occurring disorders. Thank you, Judy, for being part of our conference and this week’s guest blogger. MWM

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One of the concerns I often hear from parents is how to differentiate between what they might consider normal teen behavior and what we call substance abuse.  There are definite differences but if this is new to parents, they do not have a reference point to substantiate between the two.  I have asked parents what is their gut telling them as they know their child better than anyone else.  They know their nature, personality and what they are like when just hangin’ with the family.  Differences can be subtle or completely out of the norm.

When in doubt, seek immediate help and don’t wait a year to find out.  A year’s time can take experimentation to full blown substance use disorder.

This is a common question I respond to from parents.

I sat recently with a set of parents that firmly believed in allowing their children to experience what it feels like to be intoxicated yet monitored by parents.  I know this is common practice amid the culture of alcohol use in our state and country.  Part of this thinking is to “ready” them for the college experience or post high school plans.  Another part is that they are going to drink anyway, might as well allow it under a parent’s watch.  This is where I beg to explore other perspectives.

Exploring our own expectations around drug/alcohol use first, is an exercise in self-awareness, no matter what the family structure is i.e.  two parent households, single parents, blended and co-parenting situations.  Knowing what it is that you stand for is a building block for parenting.  Next steps include sharing your personal beliefs with your partner, spouse, co-parent to find middle ground if necessary.  The following step is deciding what the expectations are going to be prior to sharing with your child.  This starts at an early age and can help parents avoid “making it up as they go.”  This is not a simple process; not at all.  It takes a lot of conversation, setting the stage of expectations and consistency.

From Statistics to Solutions 2017 – Panel Discussion on Brain Development

FSTS17 Panel 1 with Judy Hanson second from leftThe panel I sat on at the From Statistics to Solutions conference discussed some of the newest brain research and what is happening on a neurological level when substances are introduced to the developing teen brain.  I find myself having this discussion multiple times within a week to students who may or may not choose to listen.  I get it…when their perception is that all their friends are using, it can’t be that bad.  The latest research is fascinating and can serve as a great platform for parents willing to be a student as well.

 

What I do know for sure is that Minnesota has a strong community of prevention, treatment and recovery/maintenance resources and people who “get it.”

Most parents are willing to share their journey as not only does it provide a personal healing aspect it sets the stage to pay it forward to another family.

This tight knit community of parents, professionals and agencies can make all the difference in the world.

HANSOJUD000Respectfully Submitted by:  Judy Hanson, Chemical Health Coordinator, Wayzata Public Schools and conference panel member, 2 years running!

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 

©2017 Our Young Addicts                  All Rights Reserved

How Interactions at School can Lead to Teen Addiction

Pay attention to your kid’s school day. It may offer clues to mindset and the unfortunate possibility of substance use. MWM

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Imagine that you are 16 years old and you’re in science class. The class is divided into groups, each focused on a science project. Suddenly a bully in your class throws a spitball at you. It hits you in the back of the neck and it hurts. Your group members see it and they laugh.

Or imagine being in the hallway talking to your girlfriend and you see her make eye contact with another guy.  Or you might imagine that you are in PE class and you are the last one chosen to be on one of the two teams. Your embarrassment grows as everyone else is picked but you.

The point is that all these scenarios trigger feelings. Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation, and as a result, you’ve felt anger, disappointment, disrespected, embarrassment, or shame. These are difficult feelings for someone to experience, let alone a teen who may not yet have the maturity to hold such strong feelings. To make matters worse, if a teen is experiencing difficulty at home (alcoholic parent, domestic violence, parental divorce, abusive parent, etc.) then the interactions at school may be making already existing feelings worse.

Yet, even without challenging situations at home, a teen can find it hard to be at school. In general, teens tend to experience the following:

  • Fear of rejection
  • Not wanting to be made fun of
  • Not wanting to lose a friend
  • Not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings
  • The desire to appear grown up
  • The desire to appear in control
  • Not having a clear picture of other’s desire
  • Not understanding how to avoid or handle a situation
  • Not knowing how to say no

When a teen feels emotionally uncomfortable and especially if they feel overwhelmed by their feelings, they may be at risk to saying yes to drugs or alcohol. They may give in more easily to peer pressure, or they may even seek out drugs in order to feel better.

Parents and caregivers should keep in mind that strong emotional reactions can interfere with a teen’s ability to concentrate, focus, and use intellect. Logic and reason compared to emotional distress utilize two different parts of the brain. This is another reason teen’s may reach for drugs and alcohol – to help them do better in school if their emotional state continues to interfere with their ability to think clearly. As you might expect, the more that teens choose to use drugs and alcohol, the more they become vulnerable to addiction.

Typical reasons why a teen or young adult may be drawn to drugs include:

  • peer pressure
  • access to substances (even in the school environment)
  • inability to say no
  • inability to manage strong feelings
  • to feel accepted
  • experiment
  • manage the symptoms of a mental illness
  • to do better academically
  • to feel better

Teens spend a large amount of their time at school. The interactions they have with peers, teachers, principals, counselors, and coaches often influence how a teen feels about themselves, particularly because adolescence is a time when teens are so sensitive about who they are and how they fit in. If a teen frequently feels uncomfortable about themselves, they may choose to regularly use drugs or alcohol to feel better.

Unfortunately, the use of substances is often a downward spiral. As a teen continues to use drugs, the more a dependency on them grows. And the stronger the dependency, the harder it will be for a teen to function in school, in relationships, or at work.

If you are a parent or caregiver, consider the following suggestions to support your teen’s emotional stability, and ultimately, the ability to say no to drugs:

  1. Talk to your teen. Let them know you care and that you’re there to provide support. Let them know you’re interested in who they are and what they enjoy. Get to know your teen so that you feel you’re in touch with their life.
  2. Let your teen know you don’t approve of drug or alcohol use. Teens who know their parents disapprove of drug use are less likely to use. When teens get the message that their parents do not care or that their parents approve of their drug use, teens will often experiment and continue to use substances.
  3. Teach your teen how to have fun without substances. One of the biggest influences of substance use among teens is the idea that getting drunk or high creates a fun experience that they otherwise couldn’t have. If a teen knows that there are other exciting experiences available without the use of substances, they are more likely to say no.

These are a few suggestions for keeping your teen away from substances, even when interactions at school become challenging. However, if you find that your teen is experiencing great difficulty, don’t hesitate to seek the support of a mental health professional.

About Guest Blogger: Dr. Jeff Nalin, Psy.D.

jeff-nalin-headshotDr. Nalin is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY17766), a Certified Chemical Dependency Intervention Specialist and a Certified Youth Residential Treatment Administrator. Dr. Nalin is the Founder and Clinical Director of Paradigm Malibu and Paradigm San Francisco Adolescent Treatment Centers. He has been a respected leader in the field of emotional health, behavioral health and teen drug treatment for more than 15 years. During that time, Dr. Nalin has been responsible for the direct care of young people at multiple institutions of learning including; The Los Angeles Unified School District, the University of California at San Diego, Santa Monica College, and Pacific University. He was instrumental in the development of the treatment component of Los Angeles County’s first Juvenile Drug Court, which now serves as a national model.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts              All Rights Reserved

The Early Years by Jason S

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Early years trauma … compulsive eating … gamblingàfull blown addiction

I was a 5-year-old little boy playing happily when one day there was a knock at the door, it was the police. They asked if they could come in, next thing I remember was my mum lay on the floor screaming hammer fisting the floor over and over. I don’t remember the bit in between but I was carted off the neighbors house while the police consoled my mum. My dad had been in an accident and had died. I didn’t know what this meant, what would happen, when he would come back, or where he would go, 5 years old is supposed to be a magical time for children so how would I cope.

I didn’t show any emotions (apparently) in hindsight and with an insight into people these days I know my mum was left alone, angry, confused full of grief but at the time, all I knew as a little boy was, she left me also. The abandonment of losing both parents and having no one to help me make sense of grief left me scarred for life.

Food became my friend, it comforted me and gave me something to look forward to, my mum was a workaholic to deal with her grief and loss and I was left to my own devices. I gained weight at the rate of around 1 stone a year (14lbs)

This brought a whole new angle to growing up. Ridiculed at school, kids can be so cruel, I sunk further into myself, eating more and more to deal with the shame, the loss, loneliness, isolation and rejection I experienced daily, I can see how this viscous cycle was forming itself.

What is addiction?

I’ve often said addiction is like a cancer of the emotions; it eats away at anything good in your life, it affects your emotional well being negatively, its progressive and its fatal.

You can see from the above that no one roll modeled me a healthy way to deal with grief, no one helped me make sense of loss in fact quite the opposite happened. As I grew up an angry mother criticized me at most opportunities so I withdrew and lived in fantasy with food as a comfort.

I was sent to ‘psychiatrists’ and specialists?  To see ‘what was wrong with me’ I was put on anti depressants at 9 years old. This was back in the 80s and I’ve got to say looking at the medical reports which I have done recently those people had no clue about children who suffer trauma! I am glad our psychological and emotional understanding of development has come on these days.

Gambling became my next thing, I would steal money to gamble and get away from life as I knew it, the misery of being fat, and the loneliness of just being me.

See at this time, I really didn’t understand what trauma was, or addiction or anything to that matter. All I knew was I was depressed, unhappy, overweight, didn’t really want to live, I didn’t think much about my dad but probably because it was so painful.

Trauma is described as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, and its only relevant to the person who experiences it. I’ve heard many a time people saying ‘it wasn’t that bad’ or ‘ah pull your socks up’ or ‘get over it’ if you have experienced something that was traumatic to you, don’t let anyone else tell you differently, if its traumatic to you then that’s enough, other peoples job is only to understand that.

Progressive, fatal, incurable?

By the time I was a teenager there really was only one way I was heading, from gambling to co-dependency to alcohol to drugs. I went through the progression of addictions till I found heroin, it was the solution to all my problems. You see addiction is not about drugs, or alcohol or any substance for that fact, the substance or process is the solution to the problem, the problem is the internal condition, the misery, the loneliness, the isolation, misery, depression that I used the substance to fix. So really, it just adds another layer of problems on top of your problems.

I don’t expect anyone to read and find a logical solution from my writing, as nothing about addiction is logical, if only it was that simple. People used to say to me, get a job, go to college, lose some weight you’ll be happy then.  But they really didn’t get it. Soon as I put the drugs down, I had that big list above to contend with, the drugs were the lesser painful option on how to live.

Sure enough the consequences of drug use, jail and institutions became too much after many years and I had had enough, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sure enough when I did stop, I was that anxious, lonely, overweight little boy who had never grown emotionally.

Recovery from addiction and trauma without medication is possible

Luckily at that time there were other people I met in recovery who showed me the way, who guided me and helped me find a way to deal with my emotions, how to be a productive member of society. I learned to live life without the use of drugs or addictions to cope with emotions, I was finally learning who I was.

It wasn’t till later in my recovery many years clean and sober till I started to look at grief and trauma. What I realize was it was my reaction to the situations that happened that contributed to my addiction, it wasn’t the situations. I started to open up about my childhood and went through some deep seated grief and got the support I needed to make sense of some things, but to this day, it has not gone and still haunts me from time to time, I just deal with it differently today.

Today as a psychotherapist I use my experience to help me understand others, and to help them help themselves. No one could direct me, or help me until I wanted to help myself. I still feel so strongly about that time in my life as a traumatized child but with some compassion and sadness when I think about it.

Jason S

Transactional Analysis Psychotherapist

22 years of addiction recovery

Proud dad

https://www.recovery.org.uk

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

U.S. Surgeon General’s Message; Addiction Prevention Programs Work

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Among the most welcome for mental health professionals, policy makers and parents to hear as they battle the escalating social and personal tragedies of drug and alcohol abuse is this:

There is now a new national policy commitment to preventing abuse of alcohol and addictive substances, and with it, emerging new approaches to preventing youthful experimentation and dabbling in mind-altering substances from progressing into mental health crises.

Public Health Approach: Prevention

The new muscle behind the prevention/intervention message comes from the first-ever U.S. Surgeon General’s report on Alcohol, Drug and Health, Facing Addiction in America. It not only declares preventing use from escalating to abuse to be the mission—it emphasizes prevention works. “Evidence based programs have a 40% – 60%” success rate in terms of reducing the onset of addiction and associated behaviors,” says A. Thomas McLellan, Ph.D., the renowned addiction scientist who helped co-author the report, speaking at the landmark Facing Addiction in America conference in fall 2016. Dr. McLellan is chair of the board and co-founder of the Treatment Research Institute, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Reason 1 Prevention Works: Tested Scientific Model

In the U.S., the public health prevention model has more than 100 years of study, data and positive outcomes of widespread improvements to the health of Americans. Diphtheria, tetanus, poliomyelitis, smallpox, measles, mumps, rubella are among the public health victories of the 20th Century.

“The public health-based approach called for in this Report aims to address the broad individual, environmental, and societal factors that influence substance misuse and its consequences, to improve the health, safety, and well-being of the entire population,” Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., M.B.A. Vice Admiral, U.S. Public Health Service Surgeon General explains in his November address and elaborates on The Surgeon General’s web site.

Reason 2 Prevention Works: Brain Science

In the past ten years, the medical and technological advances that yield insights into the brain on drugs – the emerging discipline of neurocognition and the biology of addiction—are yielding a level of proof never before available. And it’s persuasive.

Now, with the advent of technologies such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and other lower-radiation imaging studies safer to use on youth, researchers can observe brain tissue responding to drugs, map the molecular pathways that are activated or shut down by drugs and alcohol – and at last understand cause and effect.

The brain can be hacked by drugs; neurotransmission systems that normally regulate healthy behaviors such as judgment, motivation, decision-making and well-being can be negatively impacted by the disruptive input of chemical modulators that drugs and alcohol bring.  This is especially true for teens where their brains are not fully developed.  Brain science now shows that that use of addictive substances hacks and hijacks the brain’s functioning, while excessive and continual use can rewire the developing brains of teenagers in a damaging way.

Helping the Developing Brain

Making prevention a national mental health priority is exactly the right public health move. We believe that not every teenager who experiments with drugs or alcohol needs treatment—they need tools and a guide to navigate the new world of possibilities.

By promoting a conservative prevention/intervention mindset, which includes addressing substance use that has already started the goal is to help correct missteps that developmentally can be a natural part of adolescence—risk taking, including experimenting with mind-altering substances.

This is why we developed Gobi, a set of online tools, surveys, exercises, scripts, prescribed excises—such as parent or care-giver and youth going for a focused walk discussing prescribed questions—Gobi encourages reflection and connection to self and family. Available via a smartphone or other device, Gobi can help support, clarify, reconnect, redirect.

We are encouraged by the response to the early testing of the Gobi tool set. Our research shows there is ample evidence that young brains really are at risk—and no one sets out to make that happen when they crack their first beer. So yes, we’re out to save brains—and kids and families with them. That’s what Gobi’s about.

Contact Gobi: http://www.gobi.support/

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

My Story of Recovery 1000 – Meet Randy Anderson

Through my work with the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation, I’ve had the opportunity to get acquainted with board member Randy Anderson. Here,  he shares his story of recovery with gems for parents, treatment pros and young people. Way to go, Randy, for being such a wonderful voice and inspiration! MWM

My name is Randy Anderson and I’m a person in long term recovery. What that means to me is I haven’t had to use drugs or alcohol or any mind or mood altering substance since January 9th 2005. Because of my recovery I’m able to be a husband, a son, an uncle, a brother. I’m able to own a home, vote, have a job that I love, go to school, and even pay taxes. Today I’m able to live life on life’s terms and to be present every day in my own life.

My “rock bottom” occurred in 2004 when my home was raided by a DEA drug task force and I was arrested for selling drugs to support a drug habit that had become so enormous and all-consuming, selling drugs was the only option I felt I had left. After spending a short time in jail I was offered a lifesaving procedure for my disease and that procedure was affordable, effective treatment for my substance use disorder.

After taking nearly 10 months to complete a 60-day treatment program and finding a life of recovery, I had to face the consequences for my criminal activity. Nothing could prepare me for what would happen next. On July 6, 2005, I would be sentenced to 87 months in federal prison. As a first-time non-violent drug offender who was now on the path of recovery, I never imagined such a lengthy prison term would be given to me, even though my very expensive private attorney continually warned me that I was looking at a multiple year sentence. Even if I had not yet found recovery, more time in treatment is what I would have needed, not prison. I can’t believe our country incarcerates someone for so long with no consideration for the positive changes made in one’s life. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why me? I didn’t burglarize anyone, I didn’t assault or kill anyone, I didn’t steal from any person or businesses to support my habit and I was even paying my taxes.” On August 17, 2005, the worst day of my life, two of my dear friends drove me to Waseca Minnesota so I could self-surrendered to federal prison and begin serving my prison term.

felon-shirt

I did serve out my time and was eventually released in 2009. I maintained my recovery throughout my incarceration because I truly believed my life would be better without the use of any mind or mood altering substances. Upon release, like many that get out of prison, I was required to be supervised, for me that was to be a period of 48 months. Because I decided long ago to do whatever it takes to get my life back, I did absolutely everything that was required of me and because of that I was released after only 20 months of supervision.

By this time, I was working full time as a home improvement sales person. I did that for a few years and then, after becoming unemployed, I decided maybe it was time for a career change. With great trepidation and the GED I earned in federal prison, I enrolled in college at 43 years old, with the encouragement and support of my brilliant wife. I often refer to my first day of college as the second scariest day of my life, with the first being self-surrendering to federal prison. I enrolled in college to become an addiction counselor; something that was a dream of mine since receiving the gift of recovery.

Through the journey of college and becoming an addiction counselor, I found so many causes that I felt compelled to become involved with. One that I’m most proud of is becoming a Steering Committee member for the Minnesota Second Chance Coalition. As a member of that coalition, I had several opportunities to testify in front of a variety of Minnesota legislators and legislative committees to change the drug sentencing guidelines in the state of Minnesota. I truly believe that what had happened to me should never happen to someone else and partly because of my testimony Minnesota did in fact change the drug sentencing guidelines and approximately 700 individuals in Minnesota will not go to prison each year.  There are many more details to the drug sentencing reform that I could probably write two more pages, those changes took effect August 1st 2016. Another major achievement that I’m extremely proud of was being ask to sit on the board of directors for the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation(SRHF). Working with SRHF has provided me countless opportunities to tell my story of recovery. I’m also responsible for training and educated individuals, including law enforcement and non-ems first responders, about the life saving opioid reversal medication Naloxone. I’m also a volunteer for serval organizations including Minnesota Recovery Connection(MRC), Fed Up Coalition, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and the Minnesota Association of Resources for Recovery and Chemical Health (MARRCH). I did complete college and receive my Associates of Science degree in Addiction counseling and now work as a full time alcohol and drug counselor at the very same facility where I found recovery nearly 12 years ago.

I never imagined the life I live today would ever be possible. I often ask myself when will I wake up from this dream? Well, the fact is this is no dream – it’s the life that I live and it’s only possible because of my recovery.

I saw the movie “The Equalizer” with Denzel Washington, not too shabby I might add, at the beginning of that movie it displayed a quote which I connected with and will forever hold close to my heart. “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain. Now I know why…

About this week’s guest blogger: Randy Anderson, ADC-T

Randy Anderson.jpgMy name is Randy Anderson and I’m a person in long term recovery from the disease of addiction. After receiving the life-saving gifts of treatment and recovery, I completed my A.S. degree in addiction counseling at Minneapolis Community & Technical College in 2015. I now work as a full-time alcohol and drug counselor at RS EDEN/Eden House – the very same treatment facility where I was once a client. A passionate advocate for recovery and reform, I serve as a member of the MN Second Chance Coalition Steering Committee and I am actively involved in the MN Association of Resources for Recovery and Chemical Health (MARRCH). I’m on the Board of Directors for the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation, the organization responsible for passing Steve’s Law in 2014. One of my main duties with the foundation is overdose prevention, my responsibilities include training law enforcement, non-EMS, the public and anyone who wants to carry and know how to administer Naloxone, the medication to reverse an opioid overdose. People can and do recover from addiction. I’m living proof. I am currently pursuing my B.A. degree in human services at Bethel University and live with my wife, dog, and cat in Golden Valley, MN. #WeDoRecover #RecoveryWorks

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Navigating Addiction during the Holidays

With Thanksgiving 2016 one week away, the holiday season kicks off. This can be a particularly challenging time for families whose loved ones are using drugs and alcohol. Today’s guest blogger is Sherry Gaugler-Stewart, Director of Family and Spiritual Recovery at The Retreat.  She share first-hand experience as well as professional guidance to help families, and was one of our panel speakers at our conference this past year. Thank you, Sherry, for your blog post!

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Oh, the holidays!  When we think of them, so many thoughts and images pop into our heads!  Snow!  Family!  Food!  Togetherness!  Traditions, old and new!  Excitement is in the air, and we start planning how and when our ideal holiday will come together.  Unfortunately, for those who have a loved one struggling with alcoholism or addiction, an additional level of stress typically accompanies the holidays: worry that our imagined holiday will turn into our worst-case scenario.

When Our Young Addicts asked me to write a blog post on how to navigate the holidays when addiction is present, my first thought was “Yes!  What a great topic!  This will be so helpful!”  As I thought about it more, the task became a little more overwhelming.

As someone who works with family members in the addiction recovery field, as well as being a family member myself, I know there is no right or wrong way to navigate the holidays when addiction is present.  But, there may be a way that’s right for you, which is what I hope to address.

My husband and I live in a different states than our families, and we make it a point to be with them over the holidays.  For a number of years, we would get caught off guard by the ups and downs of addiction.  Each year we would start out with our vision of the holiday and prepare for it.  We’d ask for Christmas lists, and go shopping for the perfect presents.  We’d be in contact with everyone in advance to make sure we could all get together.  We would plan festive menus, and listen to holiday music on our drive across the Midwest.  We wanted to experience what so many of us want to experience: family.  We wanted to be in the midst of the love and connection, and thought if we could just plan far enough in advance that we’d get exactly that.

Unfortunately, the addiction in our family wasn’t playing along.  Although there are a few in our family who have struggled with alcoholism and addiction, when I think about the holidays, I often think of my step-son, who is a meth addict.

We would embark into our greeting-card-worthy vision of the holiday, but addiction would stand in our way.  There would be times when we’d reach out to him, and not hear back.  There would be times when he would come, and show up despondent.  There were other times when he would show up and would be angry at the world.  There were times when he left on an evening saying that he’d be back tomorrow, and we didn’t see him again for the rest of the time that we were there (we once found out later that he ended up in jail for a while).  There were visits that ended in loud arguments.  And, then there were the times that he showed up as his incredibly witty, big-hearted, intelligent self – and the family would try to figure out how we had magically set the stage for this to happen so we could be sure to recreate it again, and again.  Of course, we were always confused when we tried to reenact the situation at another time, only to have a completely different, and often heart-breaking, outcome.

One of the things we needed to do as a family was to know what we were up against.  Sometimes the fact that someone is struggling with addiction becomes apparent during the holidays, especially since we usually see each other more at this time than other times throughout the year.

At times families fall into the trap of thinking that someone who is struggling with addiction is just behaving badly.  It’s helpful to know the signs of addiction and alcoholism.

Both the National Institute on Drug Abuse (www.drugabuse.gov) and the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (www.ncadd.org) have helpful information.   Educating yourself allows you the opportunity to know what you’re dealing with, and will be helpful in understanding what to do next.

As a family member, I have found that getting support for myself has been imperative.

There is no way that you can watch someone become entangled with alcoholism and addiction without being affected.  Family members often feel that if they love someone enough, and say and do the right things, they’ll be able to fix their loved one so they no longer have the struggles that they have.  To be around others who have had a similar experience in their reactions, and who have found a way to cope with it, helps to break the shame and stigma we often carry where addiction is concerned.  The easiest and most accessible way to find support from others who have been there, too, is through Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) or Nar-Anon (www.nar-anon.org).  So many family members keep the addiction in their family a secret.  Al-Anon and Nar-Anon provide safe places to talk about it.

Talking about the holidays was important for our family, as well.  We needed to decide what we wanted our holiday to look like, and be focused on what was realistic.  If your loved one is actively using, what is realistic may be different than at other times.

Some families decide that they need to set some clear boundaries: that their loved one is only invited if the can be clean and sober during the gathering.  They also need to have a plan in place on how they’ll honor that boundary if it’s not met.

Some find that they want their loved one included in everything regardless, so that they know that they are in a safe place.

Some families decide to change how they will celebrate so that they can all meet at a place where anyone can easily leave from if they feel uncomfortable.

As I stated before, there is no right or wrong in deciding this.  There is only what is best for you and for your family.  These decisions are more easily made with an understanding of addiction, and remembering that the person you love is still the person you love, even though their disease may bring unwanted attitudes or behavior.  These decisions are also more easily made when you have support.

Families have choices, and they get to make them – including during the holiday season.

Our family feels blessed that we have received the gift that so many of us hope and pray for, the gift of my step-son’s recovery.  He’s been clean with the help of Narcotics Anonymous for more than three years, and we love watching his life unfold.  That witty, big-hearted, intelligent guy shows up most of the time, and even when he shows up occasionally as someone who’s going through a difficult time for whatever situation is happening in his life, we trust that he will navigate in whatever way that he needs to with the support of his people in his recovery circle.  And, yet, we may have gotten a little too excited when our first holiday came around and we thought “Finally!  We get to have our ideal holiday!  There will be SO much togetherness!  We’ll be a Norman Rockwell painting!”

We found that going through the holiday in early recovery was going to take some navigation, as well.

My step-son did a great job of talking to us about what he needed, which wasn’t non-stop family time.  For many folks, the holidays can trigger or exacerbate addiction.  My step-son needed to find his own balance.  His primary focus was to continue to build the foundation of recovery, and we needed to honor that.  We listened, and we trusted that he would show up for what was important for him, and that he would do what he needed to support himself when he needed to do so.  And, we stayed focused on taking care of ourselves, and being grateful for the time we got to have with this wonderful, clean, clear-eyed young man.

Even if the gift of recovery hasn’t happened in your family, my hope for each of you is that you’ll find moments of peace and joy.  I believe that they are there and accessible to all of us, even if our loved one is actively struggling.  Remember to learn what you are up against, find support for yourself, talk about it – and listen.  Be gentle with yourself and your loved one.  I believe that we are all doing the best that we can with the tools that we have, and I’m hopeful that these new tools will be helpful to you as you embark on this holiday season.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

College Culture and Substance Use

College is supposed to be a transition from teenage years to adulthood, but often the culture creates challenges – and consequences – that result from alcohol and drugs. This week’s guest blogger provides a candid overview of what’s going on, including some valuable sources for more information. Thank you, Sonia! MWM

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College is a time of change and new experiences. College freshmen, being away from their families, tend to latch onto their newfound relationships for support and guidance. While peers are important during the transition from living at home to living on campus, this time in a person’s life leaves room for peer influence.

Peer pressure is a key factor in the development of risky behaviors. Peers may be negative influences, encouraging risky behaviors, supplying dangerous items or introducing their friends to questionable new activities. Many college students, being vulnerable and impressionable, begin modelling these behaviors and regard the abuse of substances as a positive and socially acceptable experience.

A 2014 Monitoring the Future survey, funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, reported that college students smoked marijuana more often than they drank alcohol on a daily basis.

From 1994 to 2014, daily alcohol use among college students increased from 3.7 percent to 4.3 percent, while daily marijuana consumption increased from 1.8 percent to 5.9 percent. Although Adderall use is decreasing among college students, cocaine use increased from 2.7 percent in 2013 to 4.4 percent in 2014.

Alcohol use is higher among college students than among their non-college peers. An article published in the NYU Applied Psychology OPUS attributes this factor to the social identity theory, which states that an individual’s self-concept is based on the groups they associate with.

Because they want to be socially accepted, students think they must mingle with a certain group. If that group consists of substance-using individuals, it is likely that the college students end up using drugs or alcohol to fit in. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, college freshmen are the most vulnerable to substance abuse influences during the first six weeks of college.

The Three Dimensions of Peer Pressure

College students experience three dimensions of peer pressure:

  • Direct influence
  • Modeling other people’s habits
  • Perceived habits

Active offers of drugs and alcohol to college students make up direct influence. It can be in the form of a simple suggestion to continual encouragement to use substances in order to fit in the group. While the individual has no intention of consuming drugs or alcohol, they usually cave from the peer pressure.

Contrary to the first dimension of peer pressure, the second dimension is an indirect influence, which the NYU article defines as a temporary imitation of peers’ habits. The article mentioned that college students were more susceptible to consuming more alcohol if they were exposed to heavy-drinking models, as opposed to lighter or no models. College freshmen tend to be candidates for heavy alcohol consumption, but the article noted that this behavior decreases by the time they graduate.

Stemming from a misconception by the individual, perceived habits — the third dimension of peer pressure — is arguably the most dangerous. Perceived drinking norms influence college students through the observation and comparison of their peers’ drinking levels. Students typically end up overestimating the amount of alcohol their peers are drinking, thus engaging in hazardous drinking practices.

The NIAAA’s College Fact Sheet mentions that students attending schools with core Greek systems and prominent athletic programs are more likely to drink more than students who attend other schools. Similarly, alcohol consumption is higher among students living in Greek houses than among those living at home with their families.

However, research revealed that students whose parents previously discussed the dangers of drugs and alcohol with them had a lower incidence of frequent drinking. This reinforces that parental guidance has a great role to play in college students’ substance using behaviors.

Aside from parental support, colleges should implement awareness and prevention strategies that target at-risk students, including freshmen, student athletes and members of Greek life. These strategies should aim to prevent and reduce incidences of substance abuse by educating the students and changing their perceptions about drugs and alcohol.

Colleges should also look into implementing collegiate recovery communities to help current student struggling with substance use disorders through their recovery journey.

Sources:

National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2015, September). College-Age & Young Adults. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/college-age-young-adults

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2015, December). College Fact Sheet. Retrieved from http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/CollegeFactSheet/CollegeFactSheet.pdf

Palmeri, J.M. (n.d.). Peer Pressure and Alcohol Use amongst College Students. Retrieved from http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/appsych/opus/issues/2011/fall/peer

By Sonia Tagliareni

sonia-imageSonia Tagliareni is a writer and researcher for DrugRehab.com. She is passionate about helping people. She started her professional writing career in 2012 and has since written for the finance, engineering, lifestyle and entertainment industry. Sonia holds a bachelor’s degree from the Florida Institute of Technology.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Study Drugs & Students

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The pressure that is put on students these days is pretty overwhelming. There is a drive to be perfect and competition is incredibly high. They have to get straight A’s, get college credit while in High School, get graduate credit while in undergrad, finish early, and be the best, and if they can’t manage this they are deemed failures. We push and push our children and in the process we create a culture that permits unhealthy habits in order to get a competitive edge.

This culture can be seen on just about every American college campus where students are taking study drugs, such as Ritalin or Adderall, in order to study longer and retain information better. Many of these students are not prescribed these drugs, but rather take them when they need to cram for a test or sit down and write a paper.  Prescription pills rank #5 as the world’s most dangerous drugs and Adderall and Ritalin are prescription drugs to further the concern consider the following information.  One recent study showed that usage of study drugs is so prevalent that 61.8% of college students surveyed had been offered these drugs over the past two years. Of those surveyed 31.0% had actually taken drugs, that they were not prescribed, to study, which means that almost 1 in 3 college students have used narcotics in order to study in the past two years.

The same can be seen in high schools all across the country although the numbers aren’t as high. A 2013 study found that 7.4% of 12th graders had used non-prescribed Adderall within the previous year. While 7.4% may not seem like it is very high, Adderall was the most widely abused prescription drug among this age group, and only marijuana and alcohol were abused at higher rates.

Many of these students are unaware of the addictive properties of these drugs or the effects that they can have on their body, and most feel in the moment that getting a good grade is more important than their general wellbeing.

Adderall and other such drugs are powerful central nervous stimulants. The psychoactive chemical in Adderall is dextroamphetamine, which is very similar to the chemical makeup of methamphetamine. While methamphetamine is widely known to have devastating effects on the body, the effects that Adderall and other study drugs have is not as well known. This is in part because these drugs are legal and widely prescribed, so people believe that they are safe to take, but Adderall and other study drugs can have extremely negative effects on a person. Some of which are:

A suppression of the appetite and unhealthy weight loss

Like their stimulant counterparts, many study drugs are known to suppress the appetite of the person taking them, which over an extended period of time can lead to an unhealthy drop in weight. This occurs because dextroamphetamine and amphetamine increase the amount of dopamine released in the brain, which tells the body that it is satisfied. By doing this the body then is unaware that it is hungry.

Trouble Sleeping

This side effect is partially why college students use Adderall and other such drugs to study. The stimulant effect allows them to stay awake for long periods of time without the need for sleep, but without sleep a person can experience all sorts of negative side effects, such as hallucinations, heightened emotionality, and a breakdown in decision making.

Potential for dangerous cardiac issues

Since study drugs are stimulants they are known to raise blood pressure, body temperature and in certain cases can even result in sudden cardiac arrest. This does not necessarily only come about from extended use but can occur after only one usage. If you are taking a study drug that is not prescribed to you then you may run a higher risk of experiencing one of these side effects since a doctor didn’t perform a check-up before giving you the medication. It is important to understand that these are powerful drugs and so their effects on the body can be dramatic.

A Decreased Ability to Concentrate

One of the side effects of taking study drugs for a prolonged period of time is actually a decrease in ability to focus. This is interesting because many of these drugs are taken so that the person can concentrate for longer, but studies have shown that prolonged usage of these drugs actually have the adverse effect.

Addiction

Like all stimulants study drugs have the potential to lead a person into addiction. No one starts out using drugs believing that they are going to be addicted, but in 2012 116,000 people entered into drug treatment for Adderall addiction. Many people who start using this drug to study are unaware if they are predisposed to drug addiction and even if they are not, they could find themselves physically addicted to the drug before they even know what is happening.

So while the pressures of modern living continue to increase, we have to be conscious of the message that we are sending our children. If that message is that you have to succeed at any and all costs, then the number of students who abuse study drugs will continue to increase. These are powerful drugs and many people are unaware of the effects that they can have on the body, and while there are legitimate medical reasons for their usage, educating the youth on what these drugs can do to them is important. Getting them to understand that staying up all night with the help of narcotics in order to study is not a rite of passage and as a society we shouldn’t be putting this type of pressure on our children.

About Rose Lockinger, guest blogger

Rose Lockinger - Guest Blogger - Parent.jpgRose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.

You can find her on LinkedIn, Facebook, & Instagram

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

Teens Speak Their Truth in New Online Pilot of Drug and Alcohol Prevention Program

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What’s something you don’t usually tell people about yourself?

What’s more important, money or happiness?

What’s the most fun you’ve ever had, without using drugs or alcohol?

There’s more—the homework assignment:

Schedule a walk with your parents or guardians and tell them three things you like about them.

Perform one good deed, even if no one notices. What was your good deed?  How did it make you feel?

Welcome to the novel approach of Gobi. It’s a new online drug and alcohol prevention program that we were inspired to develop because so many parents found their children using and couldn’t find a useful resource. Teaming up with academic specialists in addiction, education experts at sober schools and teens; we created Gobi.

What Kids Are Saying

To test the online concept and willingness of teens to engage, our team conducted a pilot evaluation for several months in 2015-2016.

The teens in the pilot provided insights about the program that is both revealing and empowering.

  • 50% reported they are around drugs and alcohol 1 to 3 times a week and that their motivation to use is to relax or deal with stress, fewer than 10% self-report using 3-7 times a week.
  • Peer pressure affects only a small percentage of respondents’ using behavior, yet approximately 70% of respondents reported they did things for another’s approval they did not want to, including “a mean prank,” “sleep at a boy’s house,” “smoke weed,” “drink whiskey.”
  • The majority of teens—approximately 80%–trust their friends—but some cautiously so. “Only one person. I’ve tried trusting more, but then they backstab you.” “Yes. But I’m a very closed off person, so they don’t know EVERYTHING. Cause you never know what could happen.” And “yes, because they don’t use.”
  • About 80 percent of respondents said happiness is more important than money. Their reasons: “money is something that comes and goes and not being happy is a waste of life.” “Because it’s the only thing money can’t buy.” Those who chose money say, “Money brings stability and without stability you can’t be happy.” “Everything depends on money.”
  • Most reported meeting a weekly goal they set—such as keeping a room clean, doing homework, helping parents with housework—and described this accomplishment as, “felt good, and it helped my relationship with my family,” “felt stronger mentally and physically because I did not think I could do it,” and “happy when we didn’t fight as much.” Those who missed making their goals described the feeling as “Disappointed,” “I feel dumb that I missed it,” and “Unsatisfied. Disappointed.”

By the end of the program, most teens said that they were now thinking differently about their using and had either stopped or significantly cut back on their drinking, as one teen said “because it’s a matter of my life.”  Both parents and teens reported that the walks had been very helpful in getting communication going again. Post-program survey comments attest to this, noting feeling “less stressed, more connected with my mom”, “My relationship with my family wasn’t as good as it is now, because I have been given tools to help communicate with my parents better.”

We are encouraged by these early results. They show teens are not only willing to change—but looking to change. They want help in doing so, and they find the online/mobile phone platform convenient, familiar, easy to use, and helpful. They trust it.

Most impressive to us was the fact that a great deal of honesty came through in the responses—and that’s key. As we know so well, trust and honesty are the foundation for getting teens and parents connected, and for getting right with the world. And there’s no better feeling than that.

About the Author:

Judson (Kim) Bemis is a Minneapolis entrepreneur, recovery advocate, and gratefully sober husband and parent for 28 years.  More information on Gobi can be found at gobi.support.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

Game On! Athletics, mental health and substance use.

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Student Athletes at Risk of Mental Health and Substance-Use Disorders

Guest Blog Post by Grace McLaughlin, Recovery Brands.

While most students enjoyed a three-month break over the summer, a select group was busy preparing for what might be the most important time in their life. A group whose need to do well in school isn’t just a benefit, but a necessity. A group that is seen as “too tough” for mental health to be an issue. This group is our student athletes.

These students spent their summers participating in two-a-day practices, running countless miles and dreaming of becoming an honorary MVP of their team. They have dreams of graduating high school with a full ride scholarship to college with the chance at the big leagues. However, many people forget these aspirations come with an immense amount of pressure and stress. On top of teaching them to be physically strong and focus on their sport, we should be educating them on the signs and symptoms of mental illness.

Although we have made great strides to break down the stigma associated with mental health, it’s still largely prevalent in 2016. Society has created a certain stereotype associated with student athletes, and it is one where mental illness isn’t allowed. Between the need to excel in school and athletics, it is no surprise that this group of young adults run the risk of developing depression, anxiety, eating disorders and even substance abuse. Student athletes have to show up to practice, no matter what is going on in their personal lives. If their grades are down, they risk being kicked off the team, or worse, losing their scholarship. On top of all this, they only get one day off a week to catch up with friends and be a “normal kid”. When it comes down to it, student athletes never truly get a break.

One group trying to tackle this issue is the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). They conducted a study in 2014 that found “…about 30 percent of the 195,000 respondents to a recent American College Health Association (ACHA) survey reported having felt depressed in the last 12 months, and 50 percent reported having felt overwhelming anxiety during the same period.“ To combat this, the NCAA has created guides to help coaches and their athletes manage mental health issues. These guides highlight the fact that, although student athletes main focus is physical health, mental health is just as important. In order to be at your peak physical state, your mind must be healthy as well.

These guides also shed light on the potential for substance abuse among student athletes. Many people turn to substances as an escape from reality. With all this added pressure to young adults, it is no surprise that student athletes may be looking for a way to cope.

There are many steps that people can take to ensure mental health is a priority. Student athletes have an immense amount of added pressure on them, but they also have their coaches and teammates looking out for their best interests. As a coach, it’s imperative to have open communication with athletes and set the precedent that they should never be ashamed to reach out for help. When it comes down to it, seeking help and addressing mental health as a priority reveals an incredible sense of strength and bravery.

The first step to breaking down the stigma and getting people the help they need is by reaching out and discussing it.

About Grace McLaughlin

grace-mclaughlin Grace is a social media specialist at Recovery Brands. Through a portfolio of authoritative web properties such as Rehabs.com and Recovery.org, Recovery Brands helps connect individuals in need of addiction treatment with facilities that can provide care. The company’s sites equip consumers with valuable resources to make informed treatment decisions, and also allow treatment providers to connect with individuals seeking care by showcasing key facility offerings through robust profile listings. Complete with comprehensive online directories, facility ratings and reviews, forums and professional communities, site visitors can more efficiently compare and select the treatment options that best meet their recovery needs. For more information, visit RecoveryBrands.com or follow @RecoveryBrands.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

Five Ways to Prevent Substance Abuse in Your Teenager

Substance-use prevention is a year-round necessity, but it’s particularly timely during the first month of kids being back at school. This week’s guest blogger, Allison Walsh, offers tips for parents of teens. MWM

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Let’s make no bones about it: parenting a teenager is tough. If you’re the parent of a teenager, your own adolescence likely didn’t involve cell phones, the internet or Pokemon Go. Today, our kids face a whole new set of challenges and benefits, since they have unprecedented access to information, opportunities, and unfortunately, drugs.

The good news is that you can take tangible steps to steer your child away from substance abuse. Even if it feels like you are the last person your teenager wants to emulate, studies continually show that teens are far less likely to engage in substance abuse if their parents have healthy conversations with them on the matter. Here are some tried and true tips for helping your teen stay sober and healthy:

  1. Don’t Confront, but Converse – There’s a right way and a wrong way to talk to your teenager about drug use. Avoid making accusations — try to open up the lines of communication via a conversation. Ask questions; really listen to what your child is saying. Even if it feels awkward at first, you may want to begin by asking your teen about their opinion on drugs and alcohol. If they admit that they have engaged in substance use, don’t get angry. Instead, keep asking open-ended questions and strive to understand the reasons why they made those choices.
  2. Be Involved in Your Child’s Social Life – No, I don’t mean that you should tag along to the laser tag arena with your 16-year-old and their friends. Rather, simply keep your finger on the pulse of your teen’s social circle. Invite their friends into your home so you can get to know them. This will give you a better understanding of the environment in which your teen is immersed every day. Also, it’s smart to get acquainted with the parents of your child’s friends, who most likely share your goal of keeping your kids safe and sober. After all, it takes a village, right?
  3. Know the Signs of Substance Use – If you can nip it in the bud, substance abuse is less likely to cause major or continuous problems in your teen’s life. Learn about the signs of drug addiction and drug abuse, and keep an eye out for them in your teen.
  4. Talk to Your Teen About the Consequences of Substance Abuse – You don’t have to show a bunch of gruesome images of suffering drug addicts, but you should ensure that your teen understands the effects of drug abuse and the risks associated with using mind-altering substances. Too many times, teens start using because it seems fun, yet they do not consider the long-term physical and emotional consequences.
  5. Lead by Example – Plain and simple, if you or another adult in your home is abusing substances, that sends the message to your teen that this behavior is okay. If you are struggling with substance issues, you need to get help for yourself if you are to set a positive example for your child. Oftentimes, children who witness their parents abuse substances grow up to do the same thing, creating a perpetual cycle.

Parenting teens is not always easy, but your hard work pays off as you watch your child grow into a healthy, happy young adult. Do everything in your power to keep your teen away from drugs and alcohol. For more detailed information on talking to your child about substance abuse and teen drug rehab, check out this resource on talking to your kids about substance abuse. It’s a quick read, and chock full of concrete communicative steps you can take.

If you find that your child is already abusing substances, now is the time to get teen drug rehab. For free, confidential guidance, visit TeenRehabCenter.org.

About Allison Walsh

Allison Walsh - Guest BloggerAllison Walsh has personal experience with professional treatment. During her teenage years, she sought treatment for the life-threatening eating disorders bulimia and anorexia. Treatment saved her life, and she has dedicated her career to helping others receive the professional help that they need. Today, Allison serves as Vice President of Business Development and Branding at Advanced Recovery Systems, a network of substance abuse recovery programs, including free web resources like TeenRehabCenter.org. Check out Teen Rehab Center on Facebook for inspiration, advice and news about teen substance abuse.

[sources]

https://www.dea.gov/pr/multimedia-library/publications/growing-up-drug-free.pdf

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

Is Your Child or Loved One Using Drugs?

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Drug testing. Parents have a lot of questions about drug testing, so one of our twitter contacts offered up the following guest blog post. As a first step, many families wonder about drug tests you can purchase at a pharmacy or a reputable online source. More sophisticated and accurate testing can be done by labs that specialize in working with treatment programs. In addition, check out #AddictionChat from August 24, 2016, with expert Q&A with Burlington Labs. MWM

So… Are you once again sitting at the kitchen table and staring off into space wondering where your kid is and what drugs they are doing right now?  What’s it going to be like when they come home?  Are they even going to make it home?  The way things are today, there are many moms in this same position day in and day out just praying for a change.  Knowing for sure where you stand is one way to get this ball rolling in the right direction.  Drug testing your children or loved one at home or at a medical facility will make certain a number of things.

Drug Testing Solutions

You will now know within 99.7% accuracy what drugs, and in some tests the number of drugs in their system.  The conversation becomes difficult, especially as a parent, to talk about not only the use of drugs but having your child admit they are addicted.  An addict will minimize and lie to avoid the confrontation.  They will animatedly deny they are using or down play the use of heroin as just smoking pot. Many addicts are masters at manipulation, but being armed with the knowledge of the disease of addiction will assist you in holding your ground. No more enabling your child to continue using by being in denial or exhibiting co-dependent behaviors. It’s time to take action.

The easiest, most private, and fastest way to get to the bottom and have sound answers for once is an instant 12 panel drug test.  A panel refers to a drug class.  So that means there will be 12 drugs tested.  The tests come in several options, but the 12 panel will give you a broader determination of the drugs being abused.  Theses test kits can be bought at most pharmacies or even ordered online, but make sure it’s a reputable site. Online drug testing solutions offer both the standard urine test cup and the all new saliva test. The saliva test is a revolutionary oral swab that provides instant and accurate results. I recommend the saliva test because there is less chance of altering the results.

What a number of parents do, and what I recommend, is having the test on the same kitchen table you were sitting at one point feeling hopeless.  Then your child knows the gig is up.  Expect resistance and a song and dance but hold to you guns. This is the time to be proactive.  Make this happen.  Be level and straight up.  Tell them how you feel and do not falter.  Let them know no matter what you love them and it will be OK!

They may pull all types of tricks.  They will try and alter the test.  They may dip it in the toilet and use that water.  Catch them off guard so they are not prepared or expect the drug test.  Drug addicts are slick.  Don’t let anything get passed you.  They will be ready after the first time when they come home with clean pee in a bottle, or have dried bleach on their fingers to alter the tests.  Just remember the whole purpose is the knowledge.  The facts.  No more guessing, no more not trusting or disbelief.

Having a supply of cups at home at all times will work great as a deterrent.  If your loved one or child knows every day they come home and there is a test on the table… you mean business.  Continual drug use does not get better and life will only get progressively worse.  No matter how hard or how uncomfortable, a great first step to helping your child, who you think is abusing drugs, is to know for sure and that knowledge comes with a drug test.

About The Author

Dana Kippel is a case manager at Oceans Medical Centers (www.oceansmedicalcenters.com) a full spectrum mental health and substance abuse facility in always sunny Boynton Beach, Florida.  She has a passion for families and their struggle in addiction and wants to share her real world experience with others. Phone: (561) 376-8130 Email: info@oceansmedicalcenters.com

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

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Recovery is a lot more than just not using drugs or alcohol. This week’s guest blogger offers a professional’s perspective on the key physical and psychological aspects that help people find success in recovery. MWM

My name is Jesse Sandler, and I am an addiction therapist. In working with people in recovery, I have seen that the ones who do better are those that actively tend to both their physical and mental (psychological) wellbeing.

 

The Physical

Taking care of your body is so important to maintaining your recovery. When you do, you feel better not only physically but emotionally as well. I advise my clients to pay particular attention to four aspects of their physical wellbeing: intake, action, upkeep, and rest.

 

Your intake includes everything you do and don’t put into your body: food, drink, and medicine. If you fuel yourself regularly and nutritiously, you will feel more energized. Staying hydrated makes you feel better too. Further, taking your medications as prescribed can help keep you stabilized and keep you on track.

 

Similarly, regular exercise not only helps you establish healthy routines, but also relieves stress and releases endorphins to keep you feeling your best. If you’re not used to working out, it can be tough to get into the swing of it, but it’s worth it. Try out a variety of workouts until you find something that doesn’t feel so much like work—maybe you’re not a gym person but hiking outside puts a smile on your face. Whatever you do, make sure you move everyday. Both your body and your mind will thank you.

 

In addition to fueling and moving your body well, you also need to rest your body well. Getting on a regular sleep schedule and making sure you get 6-8 hours of sleep per night will give you more energy. Good sleep hygiene also makes it easier to deal with tough times, since getting enough sleep can help you focus more on the positive and fixate less on the negative. Since you’re more likely to relapse when you’re feeling negative, this is especially important for people in recovery. So try to go to bed around the same time every night and wake up around the same time every morning, only use your bed for sleep and sex, and get off that computer or phone screen at least an hour before bedtime.

 

The final aspect of physical wellbeing that I think is particularly important is upkeep. By this, I mean showering regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes each day. This may sound obvious or silly, but I have seen time and time again that my clients tend to feel better when they are clean and wearing fresh clothes. Developing this good habit, like the others discussed above, can make you feel better physically and mentally, and give you the right mindset to face the day.

 

The Psychological

I cannot stress enough how important it is to pay attention not only to what you can see, but also what you can’t. As you probably know, emotional and mental wellbeing are huge components of the recovery process. They work in tandem with the physical to keep you on your path. While there are many components to psychological wellbeing, I advise my clients to focus on a few in particular: staying social and avoiding isolation. While these may sound like the same thing, they are in fact distinct, and each is important in its own right.

 

Stay Social

Human beings are social creatures. We thrive when we feel accepted by and connected to other people. But not just any people. Make sure you surround yourself with people who lift you up, understand you, and support your recovery. Build a strong support network of people committed to a clean lifestyle. Avoid your old toxic “friends,” and your old toxic hangouts. Go to meetings. Find fun activities that don’t involve alcohol, drugs, or whatever your triggers are. Whatever feels good, positive, and helpful for you.

 

Don’t Isolate

You may be thinking, “Wait a minute, I literally just read about this point above.” But you’d be wrong. Avoiding isolation does not necessarily mean being social. While having a strong, supportive social network is important, you don’t always need to surround yourself with other people. Alone time can be important for thought and restoration. Just make sure you know the difference between being alone and isolating, and only do the former. Being alone is restorative, calming, and recharging. It doesn’t make you feel lonely. Isolating, on the other hand, is draining and depleting. You likely do it to avoid dealing with upsetting feelings or situations, and when you isolate, you may find yourself ruminating on negative thoughts and feeling lonely. This creates the perfect conditions for relapse: you, your negative thoughts, and no one around to pull you out of them or give you perspective. So make sure that if you are opting to spend time alone, you are doing for the right reasons, and that if you find yourself alone for the wrong ones, you reach out to someone in your support network who can remind you of all the reasons you got clean and want to stay clean.

 

Conclusion

Recovery isn’t easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Staying mindful of taking care of yourself, both physically and psychologically, can make the journey a little bit easier.

 

 

Bio:

jesseJesse Sandler is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy for people in addiction recovery. He works at a dual-diagnosis intensive outpatient program and has a small private practice in Los Angeles. Most recently, Jesse is working to address another aspect of recovery: people’s living environments. After watching his clients and loved ones struggle and grow frustrated trying to find sober roommates, Jesse and co-founder Emily Churg created www.MySoberRoommate.com, an online community for people committed to living a clean lifestyle to search, match, and message with potential roommates. Jesse believes that through hard work, commitment, and hope, people can and do get better, and he hopes that MySoberRoommate will provide people in recovery with another tool to help them to do just that.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

10 Tips for Raising a Successful Child

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This week’s guest blogger is Joronda Montaño from notMYkid. She shares some good reminders for parents, especially when it comes to communication, honestly and consistency, which lay the foundation for healthy decisions about substance use.

From the day our children are born, as parents, we ask ourselves a million questions. How do I make sure my kid lives a healthy life? How do I make sure he or she is making the right decisions? It becomes a never-ending self-interrogation.

It’s every parent’s goal to raise a successful child. As difficult as it may seem at times, this is not impossible. There are numerous books and studies that give us tips on how to raise successful kids, but I’ve included a few of my own below:

  1. Define what you want – What is your vision for your child? As they get older, be sure to include their own vision in regular discussions about where they are going and how they will get there. Before you know it, they will be implementing everything they have practiced with you as their coach.

 

  1. Know your values – What values are important to you? Share them with your kids and let them share their own values with you. These values may change as your child gets older. Keep talking about them along the journey to adulthood so they are constantly reminded about what’s important.

 

  1. Communication – Teach your child to speak up for what they want and need. Like the old adage, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil,” support their ability to use their voice. You should also regularly speak up for what you want from your kids. Have the conversations, even the difficult ones.

 

  1. Allow Honesty – Give your child the space to share their ideas, wants, needs and fears. Most parents are unaware that the average age for first-time drug experimentation is 13 for example, and when a child starts using drugs, it is typically two years before parents realize there is a problem. Knowing that honest communication is acceptable can preempt difficult situations they sometimes find themselves in.

 

  1. Be Consistent – Kids will play the game the way you want IF they know the rules. Changing the rules in the middle of the game creates uncertainty so make sure you are consistent with rewards, consequences and ways that you let them know about both.

 

  1. High (achievable) Expectations – Expect them to do what they set out to do. Expect that they will follow your instructions. Expect that they can achieve their goals AND encourage them to believe in their own abilities.

 

  1. Encourage Positivity – Being positive is about making sure kids are tapped into the part of themselves that encourages and supports their thoughts, ideas and actions. This includes positive self-talk, and positive talk to others.

 

  1. Take Responsibility – We always have a choice so teaching kids to take responsibility for every action can help prepare them for thinking before they act or react.

 

  1. Build Skills – Whatever they want to be successful at will require some skill building. This is the ultimate preparation for the goal.

 

  1. Forgiveness – Being successful requires a tremendous amount of learning. Teaching kids to allow for learning and possible mistakes on the way is a healthy way to be prepared for bumps and more importantly to keep pressing on despite the bumps.

 I do not mean to make these tips sound easy, as so many adults know, being a parent can be the toughest job on earth. We do the best we can to prepare our kids for the real world and all of its harsh realities, but it is up to them to implement what we teach them.

About Joronda Montaño:

Montaño works as a program director at notMYkid, a non-profit organization dedicated to educating individuals and communities about the consequences of destructive youth behaviors such as substance abuse. First Check Diagnostics, the leader in high-quality home diagnostic test kits, supports notMYkid by providing drug tests kits to thousands of families in an effort to discourage kids from experimenting with drugs.

Montaño is a master level Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Trainer (ASIST). She is also an Arizona Credentialed Prevention Professional Level 4 (ACPP IV) and is a two-time graduate of Arizona State University with a Bachelor of Arts in Broadcasting and a Master’s of Public Administration. Montaño is a mom of four beautiful children.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.