5 Tips to Ditching the Shame Game of Addiction and Recovery

Time to stop the shame game. MWM

Print

Addiction is a very powerful venom, it’s a disease that can very easily destroy a person’s life and that of those around them. Something typically associated with addicted individuals is a social stigma because of the enormous misconception that addiction is just something that can be “shaken-off” or that they simply are not willing to stop consuming. However, this is not true; addiction is a very real and very dangerous disease. Due to these misconceptions there’s an ever present shame associated with situations involving addiction.

Addictive individuals are very fragile and vulnerable people, it doesn’t take much to trigger a feeling or emotion where for them the only solution is to run and do drugs or drink alcohol and shame can potentially be one of the worst triggers there is. It is not only the stench of shame coming from other people, but their internal shame as well. Addicts are usually their hardest judges, ironically that harsh judgement is what turns it into a vicious cycle they find themselves unable to escape: Something happens that compulses the individual to consume, after the high is gone they will absolutely hate themselves for using yet again; unable to bear with the shame they are casting upon themselves they turned once again for their substance of choice and the cycle repeats over and over. Add to this the external shaming coming from other people and society in general and it becomes a recipe for guaranteed disaster.

In order to start beating and leaving that vicious cycle it’s necessary to drop the shame game, here are 5 tips that can help you a lot in doing so.

1. Understanding Addiction as a Disease

The nature of addiction is a very sneaky one. As a disease it doesn’t present itself with traditional symptoms and before the person, or their immediate circle of friends and family notest, it’s typically too late and the person has devolved to some degree into addiction. But just as you wouldn’t blame or shame someone for getting cancer or diabetes, there is also no reason for falling victim to addiction, support, care and professional are the elements that’ll pull the person through.

2. Surround Yourself With Supportive People

Addicts are fragile people, due to this fragility lies the reason why shame can penetrate and hit so hard, specially self inflicted shame. In order to combat that self shaming soldiers must be summoned for the battle. Support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) can be a fantastic source of moral support that can help strengthen those inner walls and fix those crack that allow shame in so easily. This can also be a very good opportunity to reconnect with friends and family if the person has become socially isolated, so long as those circles are not a source of external shame themselves.

3. Make Amends

Addiction carries a lot of consequences, some of the biggest come from the harm addicts cause while under the influence to themselves but specially to others, this is one of the biggest sources of shame. Being honest about one’s mistakes and making amends for it opens the path to a more secure and stable state, it can also open the gates of forgiveness for both the addict and the people they caused harm to and begin to understand that there was never ill intent, just a tragic and terrifying disease at work. Liberation is one of the key elements in getting rid of shame.

4. Brain Growth Activities

Constant and prolonged consumption of drugs and alcohol distort and affect the brain’s chemistry, this is why addicts experience such revolting changes in mood and why in some cases their personality is drastically affected, being aware of this can be a great source of shame because the person doesn’t recognize themselves anymore. To put it in simple words the brain lack will power.

To help overcome; it’s recommended that the person engages in activities that promote healthy growing of the prefrontal cortex section of the brain, which is the section that takes care of the cognitive functions such as social engagement and decision making. Activities such as yoga, meditation, aerobics exercises; even brain teasers and logic problem solving activities can help in this endeavor.

Ditching the Shame Game

Just as it is important to understand addiction as a disease, it’s also important to get a grasp on some of the by products of this. Shame, both internal and external, is one of the more dangerous components that threatens the individual to never escape and recover from the disease.

Only through support and care from family, friends and support groups that can encourage the person to drop the shame and get professional help, will them then start having again any semblance of a normal life through recovery and eventually sobriety.

Do you know someone who is battling addiction? Show this article to them and share your personal experience with everyone else by sounding off in the comments section below!

About today’s guest blogger:

andyAndy was born in Bogota, Colombia, but raised in Los Angeles, California. He has been sober for 9 years now! Andy spends his time helping others with their recovery.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

How Interactions at School can Lead to Teen Addiction

Pay attention to your kid’s school day. It may offer clues to mindset and the unfortunate possibility of substance use. MWM

Print

Imagine that you are 16 years old and you’re in science class. The class is divided into groups, each focused on a science project. Suddenly a bully in your class throws a spitball at you. It hits you in the back of the neck and it hurts. Your group members see it and they laugh.

Or imagine being in the hallway talking to your girlfriend and you see her make eye contact with another guy.  Or you might imagine that you are in PE class and you are the last one chosen to be on one of the two teams. Your embarrassment grows as everyone else is picked but you.

The point is that all these scenarios trigger feelings. Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation, and as a result, you’ve felt anger, disappointment, disrespected, embarrassment, or shame. These are difficult feelings for someone to experience, let alone a teen who may not yet have the maturity to hold such strong feelings. To make matters worse, if a teen is experiencing difficulty at home (alcoholic parent, domestic violence, parental divorce, abusive parent, etc.) then the interactions at school may be making already existing feelings worse.

Yet, even without challenging situations at home, a teen can find it hard to be at school. In general, teens tend to experience the following:

  • Fear of rejection
  • Not wanting to be made fun of
  • Not wanting to lose a friend
  • Not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings
  • The desire to appear grown up
  • The desire to appear in control
  • Not having a clear picture of other’s desire
  • Not understanding how to avoid or handle a situation
  • Not knowing how to say no

When a teen feels emotionally uncomfortable and especially if they feel overwhelmed by their feelings, they may be at risk to saying yes to drugs or alcohol. They may give in more easily to peer pressure, or they may even seek out drugs in order to feel better.

Parents and caregivers should keep in mind that strong emotional reactions can interfere with a teen’s ability to concentrate, focus, and use intellect. Logic and reason compared to emotional distress utilize two different parts of the brain. This is another reason teen’s may reach for drugs and alcohol – to help them do better in school if their emotional state continues to interfere with their ability to think clearly. As you might expect, the more that teens choose to use drugs and alcohol, the more they become vulnerable to addiction.

Typical reasons why a teen or young adult may be drawn to drugs include:

  • peer pressure
  • access to substances (even in the school environment)
  • inability to say no
  • inability to manage strong feelings
  • to feel accepted
  • experiment
  • manage the symptoms of a mental illness
  • to do better academically
  • to feel better

Teens spend a large amount of their time at school. The interactions they have with peers, teachers, principals, counselors, and coaches often influence how a teen feels about themselves, particularly because adolescence is a time when teens are so sensitive about who they are and how they fit in. If a teen frequently feels uncomfortable about themselves, they may choose to regularly use drugs or alcohol to feel better.

Unfortunately, the use of substances is often a downward spiral. As a teen continues to use drugs, the more a dependency on them grows. And the stronger the dependency, the harder it will be for a teen to function in school, in relationships, or at work.

If you are a parent or caregiver, consider the following suggestions to support your teen’s emotional stability, and ultimately, the ability to say no to drugs:

  1. Talk to your teen. Let them know you care and that you’re there to provide support. Let them know you’re interested in who they are and what they enjoy. Get to know your teen so that you feel you’re in touch with their life.
  2. Let your teen know you don’t approve of drug or alcohol use. Teens who know their parents disapprove of drug use are less likely to use. When teens get the message that their parents do not care or that their parents approve of their drug use, teens will often experiment and continue to use substances.
  3. Teach your teen how to have fun without substances. One of the biggest influences of substance use among teens is the idea that getting drunk or high creates a fun experience that they otherwise couldn’t have. If a teen knows that there are other exciting experiences available without the use of substances, they are more likely to say no.

These are a few suggestions for keeping your teen away from substances, even when interactions at school become challenging. However, if you find that your teen is experiencing great difficulty, don’t hesitate to seek the support of a mental health professional.

About Guest Blogger: Dr. Jeff Nalin, Psy.D.

jeff-nalin-headshotDr. Nalin is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY17766), a Certified Chemical Dependency Intervention Specialist and a Certified Youth Residential Treatment Administrator. Dr. Nalin is the Founder and Clinical Director of Paradigm Malibu and Paradigm San Francisco Adolescent Treatment Centers. He has been a respected leader in the field of emotional health, behavioral health and teen drug treatment for more than 15 years. During that time, Dr. Nalin has been responsible for the direct care of young people at multiple institutions of learning including; The Los Angeles Unified School District, the University of California at San Diego, Santa Monica College, and Pacific University. He was instrumental in the development of the treatment component of Los Angeles County’s first Juvenile Drug Court, which now serves as a national model.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts              All Rights Reserved

Valuable Evals

Short of discovering physical evidence of drugs/paraphernalia and alcohol or finding your kid* under the influence, it’s often hard to know for certain if your kid is using – or to know the extent of the situation. Perhaps this is the first time. You may consider it’s just experimentation or partying. Or you may be concerned that it’s out-right addiction. It’s not always easy to tell.

Regardless of what you’re feeling, remember that you are feeling something that’s concerning. That’s ALWAYS something to pay attention to. Why? Because we know that substance use will damage their developing brains, which don’t reach full maturation until age 22 for young women and age 25 for young men.

The fact that you’ve discovered substance use is reason to investigate further.

Keep in mind that “investigate further” does not mean jumping to conclusions or overreacting. It starts with observations, gathering facts, noting concerns, paying attention and keeping track of things – at least for a while.

This is an ideal time to reach out to other adults in your kid’s life to ask if they’ve observed anything of concern.

Ask teachers, coaches, activity leaders. Talk to friends and neighbors. Express concern and then just listen. But, still listen your gut.

It’s also a good time to talk to your kid. No accusations. No judgements. Just open the conversation. Listen instead of lecture. Share your perspective on substance use. Don’t expect the truth and don’t be naïve.

Again, listen to your gut.

If there is even a tiny inkling that there is substance use, now is the time to consider a professional evaluation.

There’s no one right or wrong way to go about this. The important thing is to do something. An evaluation now provides a baseline for the future.

I’m no expert, but there are three primary categories of evaluation. All of these proved valuable for our family in the early days of our son’s substance use. At the end of the blog, and on our website, find resources for the following:

  • Drug Testing. From the drugstore variety to clinical lab tests, these may be helpful in finding out if your kid is using and what they may be using. A word to the wise, however, don’t rely on these. For example, marijuana (THC) stays in the system for up to 30 days; but other drugs including stimulants and opioids may only stay in the system for hours. Random drug testing may express the strength of your concerns and the extent to which you believe drug-free is best for your kid.
  • Chemical Health Assessment. This entails having your kid meet with a licensed professional to complete a comprehensive interview. These pros know that your kid may not be telling the complete truth and this factors into their assessment. The outcome is usually a set of recommendations – everything from “keep an eye on things” to a recommendation for outpatient or in-patient treatment. Usually, this conversation begins to set up a correlation between use and consequences as well as stage of readiness for change. There may be a fee for this assessment or it may be covered by insurance. Many counties offer free or sliding fee options.
  • Mental Health Evaluation (Psych Eval, for short). This entails having your kid meet with a mental health professional. It can rule out psychosis and get a sense of whether there is anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, and other common co-occurring disorders that are prevalent among young adults and substance users. Again, there may be free assessments or insurance-covered options. For our family, this was one of the most telling assessments and ultimately it led to #SoberSon going into drug treatment.

Things to keep in mind:

  • An evaluation is just a starting point.
  • An evaluation is often a baseline and there may be need for future evaluations as your kid’s use continues.
  • An evaluation is not a diagnosis per se, rather offers a set of recommendations for developing a treatment plan which will likely include additional evaluations.
  • If your kid is under the age of 18, you can set up the appointment and insist that they participate.
  • Once your kid is 18 or older, your kid must agree to participate and the “results” are not available to you unless your kids authorizes a release of the findings. This can be a true challenge for concerned parents.

Resources for more information:

Our Young Addicts – links to resources:

https://ouryoungaddicts.com/links/

An overview of screening tools (SAMSHA)

http://www.integration.samhsa.gov/clinical-practice/screening-tools

Another overview of tools (NIDA)

https://www.drugabuse.gov/nidamed-medical-health-professionals/tool-resources-your-practice/screening-assessment-drug-testing-resources/chart-evidence-based-screening-tools-adults

Drug Testing Info: Burlington Labs

http://www.burlingtonlabs.com/

In Minnesota, two evaluations sources were particularly good for us. Google your community to find local sources.

Prairie Care

http://prairie-care.com/

Rule 25 – Chemical Assessment

http://www.resource-mn.org/chemical-mental-health/intake-assessment/rule-25/

*Our kids will always be kids no matter their age. However, in these blog posts when I use the word kid, I’m referring to young people ages 12 to 22.

©2017 Our Young Addicts            All Rights Reserved.

 

5 Ways You Can Support Your Kid in Their Recovery

Print

Recovery brings new opportunities and challenges for families. Guest blogger, Carl T. , shares five ideas to help support your loved one. MWM

The risk of relapsing after you have recovered from drug addiction, never leaves entirely, however, statistics suggest that it’s more likely to occur within the first few months of recovery. Addicts feel more vulnerable, they are going through many physical and psychological changes, and they feel anxious or stressful this, if not handled properly, could end in relapse.

 

In recovery, you learn to develop coping strategies effective enough to support your sobriety; unfortunately, they take some time to settle, and on the early stages of rehab as a recovering addict there is always the further stress of the lingering withdrawal symptoms. Nevertheless, don’t lose hope, recovery is a struggle but with time it will become easier and the addict’s resolve will strengthen.

To increase the chances of avoiding a relapse, it is always important to have support from your family and loved ones, it is never easy to love an addict, but you are one of the most important keys for them to recover from substance abuse. Here are some ways you can help your loved one during their early stages of recovery:

Learn to recognize the signs of relapse

Being able to recognize the signs of relapse can help you to learn proactive steps that should be taken to avoid the addict’s temptation to go back into their old habits of using. For each person, relapse can be far more dangerous than for others.

A single trigger can send someone back down the path of destruction and it’s important to educate yourself and learn about this topic. Learning how to recognize these warnings and reaching out for support is key to a path of a healthy recovery. Some common signs can include:

  • Easily annoyed or angered
  • Increased feelings of hopelessness or negativity
  • Loss of interest in family, friends and activities that they would usually love.
  • Deliberately putting themselves in risky situations
  • Increased stress levels

Signs can vary according to each person, but if you feel that something is not right your love one, sit down and talk with them, be patient and understanding. Figure out together what their triggers can be and enforce a plan to avoid situations that could cause them to plummet back to step one. The first few months are vital and very fragile to the result of their successful recovery.

Learn to have fun

Learning how to have fun without using will be a difficult step but an incredible valuable one; be persistent and dedicate time, tolerance and as many tries as necessary so you can help your loved one to figure this out. Start simple, go to see a comedy show with your loved one, or take up exercise.  Do they enjoy photography? Encourage them to go outside and take some pictures. Maybe spring-cleaning your house is more therapeutic for your loved one.

If you have the resources, take a trip somewhere relaxing like a natural park and go see some beautiful landscapes to help them get in touch with their spiritual side. While going on a trip is always exciting, remember that it’s important to take the person that’s going through recovery to places appropriate for a recovering addict. For example, going to a beach destination is not recommended due to its high triggers for relapse due to it’s laid back, drinking lifestyle.

Whatever their idea of fun may be, learn to discover new ways that they find relaxing and are positive for their recovery.

Learn to set and complete goals

Sitting down with your loved one to talk about their recovery, their short-term goals and their ambitions after recovery could be very beneficial for both you and for them. Creating short and long-term goals, and making plans to accomplish them fully, will bring the addict motivation and determination, key roles into the path of recovery.

Learn that goal setting is an ongoing process that will continue for the rest of their lives. Focusing clearly on the life that they want to live, free of substances is important. It will push them to work and make an effort to reach the life they want to live. As silly as the goal may seem, learn to take it seriously and give your continuous support.

Learn to be proud of milestones

Support your loved one by acknowledging the progress they have. In the 12-step sober programs, anniversaries and other milestones are a big deal. 24 hours, 30 days, 60 days and 90 days all deserve to be praised for and you can learn to do it from home as well.

A great idea to show your support in a positive way is to attend families support groups, they will guide through the path of encouraging to your loved one in a way that is constructive and makes them feel succeeded.

Learn to be patient

Recovery is a long, complicated process. It is natural for people to make mistakes during their recovery and it’s important for them to know that their family and friends still support them when they slip up. Remember that addiction is an illness and not a choice.

Educate yourself, read books and consult professionals so you can understand what your loved one is going through. If your loved one relapses, know that it’s not because they’re doing it to spite you or because they are ‘weak’, but because they have an illness that needs to be treated and overcome daily.

Whether your loved one is one day or three months into their recovery path, with a bit of patience, love, support and understanding you are helping to contribute to the new healthier version of the person you care about.

Are there any tips that you feel that we left out? Please leave a comment and share them with us below.

About Our Guest Blogger:

I’m Carl Towns, a 28-year-old wanna-be writer; I am also a recovering addict in the path of self-discovery. My goal is to learn as many things as possible and to seize every single moment I live, pretty much trying to make up for all that I missed on the years I was lost in drugs and alcohol (among other things). I’m in love with tech, cars and pretty much anything that can be found online.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts      All Rights Reserved

Writing Through Life’s Problems

Some people write to think. Others think to write. Either way, writing is a way to work your way through whatever is on your mind. Today’s guest blogger, Williams Miko, does just that – explain how and why writing is a helpful way to move from addiction to treatment to recovery. MWM

Print

If you have a personal inner struggle that you fight within, it may help to start a journal about your process. In an article from PsychologyToday.com, author Gregory Ciotti explains an extensive study that followed recently fired engineers. The study separated the fired engineers into two groups. One group participated in expressive writing about their being fired while the other group did not. The results were that the engineers who participated in expressive writing were more happy and less likely to drink than the other group who did not write. This study and my addiction recovery are both proof positive that writing can help you get through life’s toughest problems.

Writing Through Recovery

Before I went to rehab for my addiction problem I did not write or journal much at all. In all reality, if it weren’t for holistic rehab centers I may not be here writing this today. My counselor insisted I continued to journal about my rehab experience and write something in it every night. It turns out the directors of these holistic rehab centers have the right idea, because it was one of the most therapeutic tasks I had to complete at rehab. I could say things that nobody else had to hear, I could vent my frustrations and talk about my emotions, after I wrote I felt relieved.

I remember after I left rehab the first few months were the worst. The days would go by slow and I had no plan for what I wanted to accomplish with my life, I just knew I couldn’t use drugs anymore.  I decided to continue my journal and that is how I was able to put a plan together for my recovery. I wrote down the things I wanted to accomplish in the short and long term, and put a plan together to get there. For me, when I wrote new goals or plans for my life, I felt inspired and motivated to complete them and remain sober, I also felt more driven and happy after writing.

When I have a bad day in my recovery I go to my journal to read old entries to remind myself how far I have came and what is in store for my future. Also, when I wanted to use I would make new entries in my journal about what I was feeling and why. After writing my emotions down I was able to identify them when they came up again in the future. Lastly, when I wrote things down I was better able to keep track of things I needed to do and complete. Writing helped me organize my entire recovery process and has played a major role in the rest of my life since I became sober.

Just Do It!

You do not have to be a great writer to journal through a difficult problem in your life. We are all not going to be published authors, but we can utilize writing as an effective tactic to deal with life’s problems. Writing paved the way for me to grow into a healthier, happier and well rounded person. The practice of writing can make you more happy as well as provide people you with structure and a positive outlet for expressing your emotions.

 About Today’s Guest Blogger

billWilliam Miko is a writer and researcher in the field of addiction and recovery. While not everyone likes to discuss this topic, it is something that must be talked about in order to solve our problems we face with addiction in society. When not working you may find William at your local basketball court.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Disorders Co-occurring With Addiction Among Teens and Young Adults

When addiction is accompanied by a mental health condition such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self harm, etc., it’s called a co-occuring disorder. These are common at all ages, but are particularly evident within young adults ages 12 to 22. Today’s guest blogger shares insight. MWM

Side note: Join us for the second-annual From Statistics to Solutions conference on May 11, 2017, in Minneapolis, to develop solutions for co-occurring disorders and substance use among young adults.

Print

 

Often times addiction comes with other pre-existing, or co-occurring disorders. These issues can exist alongside addiction, exacerbating the substance abuse, or even sometimes lead to its onset. Many times those suffering from these co-occurring disorders are unaware of their existence, and many times they are unaware that the substance abuse that follows is actually a form of self-medicating. They know that when they smoke pot, drink, use prescription pills or other illicit substances they experience a decrease in anxiety or depression, but they do not understand on a conscious level what this truly means. They only see the results and do not see the fact that their substance abuse is merely masking a larger issue that has probably gone undiagnosed for years.

 

Unfortunately, all of this usually comes to a head during the formative teenage years, due to the fact that the brain is still developing, and due to the mounting pressures of teenage life. Many American youth fall into the temptation of drug abuse during this time period and it is often a direct result of some underlying mental health concern.

 

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 6 in 10 people who suffer from addiction also suffer from a mental health disorder. Among teens this number is a little lower, but about 50% of all teens who have a substance abuse disorder also suffer from a mental health concern. This means that 1 in 2 teens who are abusing drugs may be doing so as a way to deal with such issues as depression, anxiety, or any other number of co-occurring disorders.

Luckily, our understanding and our ability to treatment teenage drug abuse and co-occurring disorders has grown by leaps and bounds over the past 20 years. We now understand that in order to deal with substance abuse issues in teens that suffer from a co-occurring disorder, we have to first get them free from drugs and other mind and mood altering substances, and then within the treatment protocol for their drug treatment, we also deal with the underlying issues that may have furthered their drug abuse.

So let’s take a look at some of the co-occurring disorders that commonly appear alongside teenage and young adult drug abuse. It is important to note that if you or your teen appears to be suffering from any of the below and a substance abuse problem, professional help should be sought in order to help stave off further issues down the road.

Common Co-Occurring Disorders with Addiction

  • Depression

According to studies approximately 20% of teenagers will experience depression before the age of 18. Besides this the World Health Organization states that depression is one of the leading causes of disability throughout the world. Among teens, depression can cause a number of different issues, but one of the most common co-occurring disorders to arise out of depression is substance abuse. Many teens who suffer from depression and who have not as of yet sought treatment are more apt to drink or use drugs as a means to cope with their depression.

  • Anxiety

Having an anxiety disorder is more than just having the occasional feeling of stress. It is more than just losing sleep before an important event, but rather it is something that can rule over a person’s life. People who have an anxiety disorder will experience an elevated level of stress or anxiety a majority of the time, sometimes even causing them debilitating social issues or panic attacks that can mimic heart attacks. Some people who suffer from anxiety disorders will turn to drugs such as pot or opioids in order to quell their anxiousness, but without dealing with the underlying issue it will always resurface over time.

  • Eating Disorders

Unfortunately many times eating disorders and addiction go hand in hand. Sometimes the eating disorder will predate the addiction, and the addiction is developed either as a means to help with the eating disorder, i.e. weight loss pills or other stimulants, or the addiction can be unrelated to the eating disorder. It is important if you are having an issue with an eating disorder to seek out professional help sooner rather than later, because it can cause a number of health complications and in some cases even result in death.

  • Self-Harm

In a sense addiction is a form of self-harm, although many addicts would not initially view it that way. The reason I say this is because a person who abuses drugs to the point that it is detrimental to their health and life is inflicting an inordinate amount of harm on themselves. For other teens though, self-harm may take on the form of cutting or burning themselves as a way to deal with anxiety, depression, or other confusing emotions. Often times teens that suffer from self-harm will also suffer from substance abuse, as the two both act as a way to cope with life.

Breaking the Cycle of Addiction and Co-Occurring Disorders

Teens or young adults who are suffering from addiction and some other co-occurring disorder may feel a tremendous amount of shame about their illnesses, to the point where they will not want to discuss them with anyone. They may want to hide the fact that they are abusing drug and depressed, yet neither of these things are anything to be ashamed of.

Many times in our society we place such a negative connotation of drug abuse and mental health issues that people will just pretend that everything is okay at the expense of their own happiness and wellbeing. With that said, if you believe you have an issue with substance abuse or some other mental health concern, reach out for help; even if it is frightening, and even if you think people may judge you for it. Don’t suffer alone and remember that there are millions of people around the world who feel and have felt exactly like you do right now. Give yourself a chance to get better and ask for help.

About Today’s Guest Blogger:

Rose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.

 

You can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, & Instagram

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

The Daily Text

Thinking about you.

What’s your horoscope say?

We miss you.

You won’t believe the cute thing the dog did today.

You deserve to be happy and healthy.

During much of my son’s addiction journey, he was homeless or sofa surfing. It broke our hearts, and in many ways I know it broke his.

However, we saw him regularly and took every opportunity to encourage him to get the help he needed. At the time, he did not appreciate our message or efforts to intervene. In fact, it often created more friction but my mom sense compelled me to continue.

One of the things we could never bring ourselves to do was to stop paying for his cell phone. It was a lifeline we didn’t want to let go of. And, we never regretted it.

So I started sending him daily texts to let him know we cared. Sometimes these were that simple and direct. Sometimes I shared updated on the family letting him know that our life was moving forward (and hoping he’d be joining us).

Not all the texts were so serious. I would say silly things. Send part of a song lyric. Tell him about a funny billboard. Ask about his horoscope. Comment on the family dog. I just tried to keep it open so he could choose to reply or not.

Sometimes he wouldd reply. Other times he wouldn’t. Whenever I got a reply, I knew it was a good sign – he was alive – even if his message was brief or if it was irate or belligerent. When he didn’t reply, it usually meant his phone wasn’t charged, he had lost his phone or left it somewhere, or he was sleeping. It might be days before we would hear back from him and sometimes it would propel us to go looking  for him – oh, the horror.

Regardless, the daily texts were our lifeline, and his too.

We believed that when he was ready to stop using drugs, he would reach out.

We’re coming up on three years of my son’s recovery and I know that the daily texts were part of the foundation that helped him forward.

Currently, my teenage nephew is struggling with substance use and mental health issues. He’s not homeless, but he likely feels just as lonely and hopeless. I’ve started a daily-text routine with him and hope it will help him realize that he has a loving family ready to help him forward. So far, he’s only responded once. It’s a start.

We count our blessings that our son is thriving in his recovery and hope the same for my nephew. If you are in the same place with a loved one, know that keeping the lines of communication open can make a difference. At the very least, you will know that you have shared your love even if they are not able to reciprocate for the time being.

Midwestern Mama

©2017 Our Young Addicts         All Rights  Reserved.

 

 

Recovery During College

 

Coming to St. Cloud State University was a little nerve racking, says Guest Blogger Thaddeus Rybka in part two of his story.

Print

I’d be leaving the Twin Cities where I had made a home the last two years, and was nervous about what others were telling me about SCSU’s “party school” reputation. Would I be able to make this program a success in what I perceived to be a hostile environment? Little did I know of all the great work that was being done at SCSU to address the high-risk drinking culture that existed in the past, the measurable changes that occurred, and the incredible administrative support for the new collegiate recovery program. Needless to say, my fears of SCSU were lifted immediately once I arrived on campus and was welcomed into the Husky community.

I quickly connected with the campus. It has a true college feel to it; large but accessible with the mighty Mississippi right next door. I discovered an appreciation for the outdoors especially with the abundance of water nearby. I realized that being by water, especially with a fishing rod in my hand, is where I find my serenity.

Having that accessibility to recharge and meditate really strengthened my recovery and in turn allowed me to do my best work.

We began our collegiate recovery community (CRC) the fall of 2012 with one student.

That first year was unique because here we were, two guys spreading the message that recovery works and fun can be accomplished without the use of substances; challenging the national college drinking subculture glorified by the media. I vividly remember promoting our community in the Atwood Memorial Center (main hub of campus) and initially getting odd looks, but after a while, students began to approach us asking about our community.

The stigma associated with recovery prohibits a lot of us from embracing our identity and seeking out others for support. Our exposure on campus allowed students to come forward and be comfortable sharing their story. “You really have a community for students in recovery?! I thought I was the only one!”

That’s where S.T.A.R.S. was born.

Students Taking Action in Recovery and Service (S.T.A.R.S.) is a student organization I helped create not only for students in our residential-based CRC, but for anyone who wanted to find purpose in their recovery. Not only did I see students in recovery from chemical dependency want to get involved, but also those with mental health challenges, eating disorders, PTSD, sex addiction, as well as supportive allies.

They wanted to be part of a healthy group of students who were working on bettering themselves and overcoming their previous challenges. S.T.A.R.S. offers opportunities to get involved with service work, advocacy initiatives, and fun social events.

Every week we bring an AA meeting to an adolescent treatment center in town and share our experience, strength, and hope with them. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting out in the community and giving back. Service work is crucial! By giving back to those new to recovery we are actually enhancing our own recovery.

Over the past 5 years, we’ve established a campus AA meeting, NA meeting, SMART Recovery meeting, and the first Crystal Meth Anonymous meeting in St. Cloud (started by one of our former CRC students). Also, the St. Cloud Alano Club and its 30 meetings-a-week is right across the river. We are very blessed to have accessible support group options for our students.

After our first year, our CRC started to blossom.

Slowly, our community has started to grow. The next year, we welcomed 8 more students and the next year we welcomed more and so on. Our CRC is located on campus in Coborn Plaza Apartments, where students enjoy fully furnished 4-person apartments with a private bedroom, walk-in closet, and private bathroom.

What’s really neat is that students don’t have to pay extra for the additional support services we provide; in fact, CRC students receive a scholarship of $1,000 each semester if they continue to meet program requirements which include being a full-time student, attending weekly individual and group support meetings, and remaining abstinent from alcohol and other drugs.

We acknowledge our students are busy balancing their recovery with school and work life, so a scholarship is meant to help them out financially.

Our CRC is unique. We offer multiple pathways to a degree by admitting students from either St. Cloud State University or St. Cloud Technical and Community College (SCTCC). So, whether you want to pursue one of the 200+ majors SCSU offers, complete your generals at SCTCC then transfer to SCSU, or pursue a certificate or trade at SCTCC, we have you covered and you can live in our community.

To qualify, prospective students must be accepted into SCSU or SCTCC. The students must then complete our application with references and treatment records, if applicable. After the application is processed, each student is interviewed to assess his or her commitment to sobriety and readiness for academic work in a Recovery Community setting.

When students move in, they are immediately connected to a peer and campus support system designed to help them succeed in their recovery and in their academics. By having a balanced routine and staying busy, our students are able to create positive new habits resulting in better academic performance and strong recovery. In fact, our students achieve a higher GPA than the overall student body, and are more involved with campus life.

If you’re not having fun in recovery, then what’s the point?

Part of that balanced routine is to take a break and have fun! As Coordinator, I facilitate social events and advocacy initiatives for our students to participate in.

For example, every month we co-host a recovery celebration called Recovery Rocks! with students from the Rehabilitation and Addiction Counseling (RAC) program.

The event features live music, milestone recognition, food and sober fun. We designed the event so we can bring the community together to support those in or seeking recovery while encouraging help seeking and reducing stigma.

We go fishing, snow tubing, bowling, and to the movies. Our students also have potluck dinners and simply enjoy hanging out with each other. They ask each other for help, celebrate accomplishments, and hold each other accountable. My goal is for them to have the same college experience as anyone else, just without the use of substances. Maybe sometimes we have too much fun. I’ll give you an example. We started on the 4th floor of Coborn Plaza Apartments and were moved down to the 3rd floor because students below us were complaining we were too loud. The next year, we were moved down to the second floor because below us were offices.

Today, we are a leader in the collegiate recovery movement.

When we started our collegiate recovery community in 2012 there were roughly 40 CRCs in the country. Today, that number exceeds 150. We are honored to have had various institutions visit us to gain insight on how we run our community. Whether it’s a residential-based program or a drop-in center, I strongly believe a CRC should be on every college campus.

According to SAMHSA’S 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 15.3% of 18-25 years olds meet the criteria for a substance use disorder.

That is an alarming number and shows the need for resources available on college campuses for this at-risk population. Everyone should be given the opportunity to pursue a higher education!

My time at St. Cloud State as a graduate assistant and now as its Coordinator has been special, to say the least. To have helped lay the foundation for a program that has helped so many students in recovery pursue a college degree has been truly priceless.

Heck, I never thought I’d see the age of 28, but here I am with a master’s degree, my parent’s trust back, genuine friends, and a job that allows me to help others and spread the message that recovery works. It doesn’t get much better than that!

For more information about the Recovery Community visit:

http://www.stcloudstate.edu/reslife/recovery.aspx

Like the Recovery Community on Facebook: https://facebook.com/scsurecovery

Follow SCSU Recovery Community on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SCSU_Recovery

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

The Early Years by Jason S

Print

Early years trauma … compulsive eating … gamblingàfull blown addiction

I was a 5-year-old little boy playing happily when one day there was a knock at the door, it was the police. They asked if they could come in, next thing I remember was my mum lay on the floor screaming hammer fisting the floor over and over. I don’t remember the bit in between but I was carted off the neighbors house while the police consoled my mum. My dad had been in an accident and had died. I didn’t know what this meant, what would happen, when he would come back, or where he would go, 5 years old is supposed to be a magical time for children so how would I cope.

I didn’t show any emotions (apparently) in hindsight and with an insight into people these days I know my mum was left alone, angry, confused full of grief but at the time, all I knew as a little boy was, she left me also. The abandonment of losing both parents and having no one to help me make sense of grief left me scarred for life.

Food became my friend, it comforted me and gave me something to look forward to, my mum was a workaholic to deal with her grief and loss and I was left to my own devices. I gained weight at the rate of around 1 stone a year (14lbs)

This brought a whole new angle to growing up. Ridiculed at school, kids can be so cruel, I sunk further into myself, eating more and more to deal with the shame, the loss, loneliness, isolation and rejection I experienced daily, I can see how this viscous cycle was forming itself.

What is addiction?

I’ve often said addiction is like a cancer of the emotions; it eats away at anything good in your life, it affects your emotional well being negatively, its progressive and its fatal.

You can see from the above that no one roll modeled me a healthy way to deal with grief, no one helped me make sense of loss in fact quite the opposite happened. As I grew up an angry mother criticized me at most opportunities so I withdrew and lived in fantasy with food as a comfort.

I was sent to ‘psychiatrists’ and specialists?  To see ‘what was wrong with me’ I was put on anti depressants at 9 years old. This was back in the 80s and I’ve got to say looking at the medical reports which I have done recently those people had no clue about children who suffer trauma! I am glad our psychological and emotional understanding of development has come on these days.

Gambling became my next thing, I would steal money to gamble and get away from life as I knew it, the misery of being fat, and the loneliness of just being me.

See at this time, I really didn’t understand what trauma was, or addiction or anything to that matter. All I knew was I was depressed, unhappy, overweight, didn’t really want to live, I didn’t think much about my dad but probably because it was so painful.

Trauma is described as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, and its only relevant to the person who experiences it. I’ve heard many a time people saying ‘it wasn’t that bad’ or ‘ah pull your socks up’ or ‘get over it’ if you have experienced something that was traumatic to you, don’t let anyone else tell you differently, if its traumatic to you then that’s enough, other peoples job is only to understand that.

Progressive, fatal, incurable?

By the time I was a teenager there really was only one way I was heading, from gambling to co-dependency to alcohol to drugs. I went through the progression of addictions till I found heroin, it was the solution to all my problems. You see addiction is not about drugs, or alcohol or any substance for that fact, the substance or process is the solution to the problem, the problem is the internal condition, the misery, the loneliness, the isolation, misery, depression that I used the substance to fix. So really, it just adds another layer of problems on top of your problems.

I don’t expect anyone to read and find a logical solution from my writing, as nothing about addiction is logical, if only it was that simple. People used to say to me, get a job, go to college, lose some weight you’ll be happy then.  But they really didn’t get it. Soon as I put the drugs down, I had that big list above to contend with, the drugs were the lesser painful option on how to live.

Sure enough the consequences of drug use, jail and institutions became too much after many years and I had had enough, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sure enough when I did stop, I was that anxious, lonely, overweight little boy who had never grown emotionally.

Recovery from addiction and trauma without medication is possible

Luckily at that time there were other people I met in recovery who showed me the way, who guided me and helped me find a way to deal with my emotions, how to be a productive member of society. I learned to live life without the use of drugs or addictions to cope with emotions, I was finally learning who I was.

It wasn’t till later in my recovery many years clean and sober till I started to look at grief and trauma. What I realize was it was my reaction to the situations that happened that contributed to my addiction, it wasn’t the situations. I started to open up about my childhood and went through some deep seated grief and got the support I needed to make sense of some things, but to this day, it has not gone and still haunts me from time to time, I just deal with it differently today.

Today as a psychotherapist I use my experience to help me understand others, and to help them help themselves. No one could direct me, or help me until I wanted to help myself. I still feel so strongly about that time in my life as a traumatized child but with some compassion and sadness when I think about it.

Jason S

Transactional Analysis Psychotherapist

22 years of addiction recovery

Proud dad

https://www.recovery.org.uk

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

From College Drop-Out to Graduate: The Gift of Collegiate Recovery Communities

Print

When your kid is using drugs, it may seem like sobriety – let alone college -is impossible. Today’s guest blogger, Teddy Rybka is proof that it’s possible. He’s a young person in long-term recovery and the program director of a popular, growing collegiate recovery community. Enjoy his post. MWM.

I was introduced to recovery at a young age, 18 years old to be exact. I had been an active user since 15 and the summer after high school graduation I decided to reach out for help. Two days later I found myself in inpatient treatment. I immediately regretted fessing up to my parents that I was chemically addicted as it meant I had to miss my first semester of college. What a bummer. I was all set to study business management and play upright bass for the college’s jazz ensemble, and here I was in a facility with other young junkies.

After inpatient treatment and a subsequent outpatient program, I found myself on a college campus. I was so excited about school. Finally, no more living at home with my nagging parents! I remember vividly standing outside my residence hall after my parents dropped me off and screaming at the top of my lungs, FREEDOM!

I was serious about staying clean and sober.

Well, sort of. The clean part, yes, but not the sober part. I could admit drugs were a problem, but I had a hard time grasping being powerless over the alcohol bit. How could I really be an alcoholic? I wasn’t even legal to drink nor had I ever had a drink in a bar. I figured I could control my alcohol use on my own and drink socially. How hard could it be? Little did I know the effort I needed to put into recovery, the support needed, and how recovery was an all or nothing deal. Within a week I started drinking almost every day again and a week after that I was back on my drug of choice. It was so sudden. Within a month of “partying” (in my case isolated drinking and drugging), I knew I needed to give it all up in order to survive in college.

I tried to stay clean AND sober. I realized that drinking led to my drug use and once I picked up that drink there was no telling when I would stop. I sought out help. However, the university I was attending had no support for students in recovery. The counseling support didn’t have any resources besides area AA meetings filled with old people I couldn’t relate to. I tried outpatient treatment again and also hooked up with a therapist who ended up telling my parents that I was a lost cause because of my continuous relapses and excuses based on endless lies.

I managed to complete 3 semesters of college. I got passing grades, but I was a wreck physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I knew I couldn’t go on so I dropped out, and for three years I bounced in and out of treatment centers. I put my parents through the merry-go-round of deceit, lost a lot of friends, and destroyed my self-esteem and motivation.

I never thought college would be possible.

Despite my out-of-control behavior I knew deep down inside that I was better than this; a testament to my parents and their unconditional love and support. A college degree was my dream, but my previous attempt had traumatized me. I thought the temptations around me would be too strong to overcome. How could I find friends who were also clean and sober? How could I have fun? These thoughts almost destroyed any hope of becoming a college graduate.

While at an inpatient treatment center in Minnesota in the fall of 2009, I learned about Augsburg College’s collegiate recovery community called StepUP from a couple of students who came in to share their testimony. A comprehensive program on campus where students in recovery can receive an education while enjoying college life clean and sober?! I was so overwhelmed with hope that I knew right then and there that was where I needed to go to obtain my college degree.

I was sent to California after treatment for after-care which was a great experience. My sober living roommate was a celebrity, we went to meetings in Hollywood, and for the first time I really started to have fun in recovery. Everything was going great until my best friend, and using buddy, was sent to the same place where I was for aftercare. Bad idea.

Within a week of being together we had relapsed and were kicked out of our sober living home. His parents took him back home, but mine would not. To this day my parents say this was the hardest thing they have ever had to do; to stop enabling me and let me go 2,000 miles away from home. I found myself with three options: homeless shelter, the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center (ARC), or suicide. I chose the Salvation ARC, but soon after getting admitted I contemplated suicide. Here I was, going through withdrawal, the youngest in a facility of 110 men – the majority facing 10+ years of prison time, and stuck working 9 hours a day in a rat-infested warehouse.

That was my rock bottom; but instead of jumping to my death I got on my knees and prayed. I had an overwhelming sense of relief and calmness come over me. I had a spiritual awakening, surrendered to my disease, and have been clean and sober ever since.

I ended up hand writing my application while in the Salvation Army and was accepted to Augsburg College and the StepUP Program. I had never stepped foot on campus, but I knew that’s where I needed to go. I needed 6 months of sobriety so I really immersed myself into my recovery. I went to 4 support group meetings a week, and worked the 12 steps with a sponsor. I really had a goal which made it easier getting through the initial few months of sobriety. I went back to school in the fall of 2010 and immediately hit the ground running.

People in recovery are the most perseverant people in this world.

I am a testament that if you put just 50% of the energy you put into getting your drink or drug into something healthy and positive you can achieve anything. For example, I decided I wanted to get into shape and play the sport I love most again, a sport taken away from me from my addiction. I accomplished that and played baseball collegiately. I wanted to take on a leadership role and become a Residence Assistant and mentor for a group of students in recovery. I got the position and thrived. I wanted to graduate magna cum laude and I needed to get straight A’s my senior year. Success.

Before graduating with my degree in Marketing, I heard that St. Cloud State University was starting a collegiate recovery community and needed a graduate student with residential life experience helping students in recovery. What an opportunity! I could use my experience mentoring students in recovery while the university paid for my master’s degree. I got the position. Little did I know those would be the 3 best years of my life.

To be continued…

About our Guest Blogger:

Thaddeus “Teddy” Rybka has been a person in long-term recovery since February 2, 2010. Hailing from the Chicagoland suburbs, he has lived in Minnesota now for six years. He currently is the Program Coordinator for the Recovery Community at St. Cloud State University. In his free time, Thaddeus enjoys fishing, listening to music, exercising, and spreading the message that recovery works.

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts      All Rights Reserved

U.S. Surgeon General’s Message; Addiction Prevention Programs Work

Print

Among the most welcome for mental health professionals, policy makers and parents to hear as they battle the escalating social and personal tragedies of drug and alcohol abuse is this:

There is now a new national policy commitment to preventing abuse of alcohol and addictive substances, and with it, emerging new approaches to preventing youthful experimentation and dabbling in mind-altering substances from progressing into mental health crises.

Public Health Approach: Prevention

The new muscle behind the prevention/intervention message comes from the first-ever U.S. Surgeon General’s report on Alcohol, Drug and Health, Facing Addiction in America. It not only declares preventing use from escalating to abuse to be the mission—it emphasizes prevention works. “Evidence based programs have a 40% – 60%” success rate in terms of reducing the onset of addiction and associated behaviors,” says A. Thomas McLellan, Ph.D., the renowned addiction scientist who helped co-author the report, speaking at the landmark Facing Addiction in America conference in fall 2016. Dr. McLellan is chair of the board and co-founder of the Treatment Research Institute, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Reason 1 Prevention Works: Tested Scientific Model

In the U.S., the public health prevention model has more than 100 years of study, data and positive outcomes of widespread improvements to the health of Americans. Diphtheria, tetanus, poliomyelitis, smallpox, measles, mumps, rubella are among the public health victories of the 20th Century.

“The public health-based approach called for in this Report aims to address the broad individual, environmental, and societal factors that influence substance misuse and its consequences, to improve the health, safety, and well-being of the entire population,” Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., M.B.A. Vice Admiral, U.S. Public Health Service Surgeon General explains in his November address and elaborates on The Surgeon General’s web site.

Reason 2 Prevention Works: Brain Science

In the past ten years, the medical and technological advances that yield insights into the brain on drugs – the emerging discipline of neurocognition and the biology of addiction—are yielding a level of proof never before available. And it’s persuasive.

Now, with the advent of technologies such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and other lower-radiation imaging studies safer to use on youth, researchers can observe brain tissue responding to drugs, map the molecular pathways that are activated or shut down by drugs and alcohol – and at last understand cause and effect.

The brain can be hacked by drugs; neurotransmission systems that normally regulate healthy behaviors such as judgment, motivation, decision-making and well-being can be negatively impacted by the disruptive input of chemical modulators that drugs and alcohol bring.  This is especially true for teens where their brains are not fully developed.  Brain science now shows that that use of addictive substances hacks and hijacks the brain’s functioning, while excessive and continual use can rewire the developing brains of teenagers in a damaging way.

Helping the Developing Brain

Making prevention a national mental health priority is exactly the right public health move. We believe that not every teenager who experiments with drugs or alcohol needs treatment—they need tools and a guide to navigate the new world of possibilities.

By promoting a conservative prevention/intervention mindset, which includes addressing substance use that has already started the goal is to help correct missteps that developmentally can be a natural part of adolescence—risk taking, including experimenting with mind-altering substances.

This is why we developed Gobi, a set of online tools, surveys, exercises, scripts, prescribed excises—such as parent or care-giver and youth going for a focused walk discussing prescribed questions—Gobi encourages reflection and connection to self and family. Available via a smartphone or other device, Gobi can help support, clarify, reconnect, redirect.

We are encouraged by the response to the early testing of the Gobi tool set. Our research shows there is ample evidence that young brains really are at risk—and no one sets out to make that happen when they crack their first beer. So yes, we’re out to save brains—and kids and families with them. That’s what Gobi’s about.

Contact Gobi: http://www.gobi.support/

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Crushing the Myths About Drug Rehab

Print

Anybody who has been to drug rehab will tell you that it wasn’t a planned vacation. There are many ways to end up in rehab, but I guarantee nobody has said “when I grow up I want to take a 30 day trip to California for drug rehab.” Although, some drug/alcohol rehabilitation centers are very much like a vacation rehab a time for recovering. How to help a drug addict with addiction starts with rehab, but drug treatment facilities have a lot of negative stigma behind them, and most are untrue. From a personal perspective of being inside the closed doors of rehab, I am going to explain some of the common myths and truths behind rehab.

Rehab is a Punishment

This is one of those 50/50 scenarios depending on how you look at it. In my case, it was both a punishment and a reward. When I was younger, I was forced into outpatient rehab programs. My parents had a strict rule on substance abuse like many typical parents of teens, yet I never obeyed the rules. If I got caught under the influence, my parents would often threaten rehab and even send me to outpatient programs from time to time. At that moment in my life, it was a punishment. Whenever I got caught with drugs or alcohol it was instantly a trip to a treatment center. But I always relapsed.

However, I reached a point in my addiction when drugs and alcohol completely ruled my world.

Getting high was the only thing on my mind and I would virtually do anything to get my fix. While using, I surrounded myself around bad people, I was constantly in fear of my surroundings and I couldn’t stop getting high.

I was a danger to myself and everyone around me, I needed to be in a safe place. I finally made the decision to take recovery seriously.

It took some time but I finally reached a point of pure surrender. It was at the darkest moment of my life when I finally admitted myself to rehab, but completing recovery treatment  was the most rewarding feeling I have ever experienced. I was finally in a place where I was safe.

You NEED to Hit Rock Bottom

The term “rock bottom” is merely a figurative speech.

In my opinion, hitting “bottom” is when you decide to stop digging.

The addict or alcoholic’s true bottom is a casket. During my using times, there were plenty of times where I thought I hit “bottom,” however, I kept using.

An  alcoholic can often slide by without any serious consequences, then suddenly get smacked with a DUI. That instance may be enough for that person to get sober. On the other hand there are those who can take way more of a beating. For example, five DUIs, suspended licenses for multiple years, maybe a divorce and thousands of dollars in debt from drinking, may seem like a bottom to you, but that person might still not be ready for treatment.

This myth about an alcoholic and addict needing to hit a bottom is simply a myth. If someone has experienced enough pain and suffering from this disease then treatment, followed by, recovery is then possible. If you are waiting to hit your bottom before entering drug rehab you might as well begin digging your own grave.

Treatment for Drug Addiction Should be a One Stop Shop

I can attest to falsely believing this claim. How many times have we heard an addict or alcoholic say, I’ve been to rehab and it didn’t work? For many people, rehab doesn’t keep someone sober past those first crucial30 days. But usually, this first trip to treatment plants a seed. A seed that shifts the concept of getting high and drinking alcohol, in addition to informing that person that sobriety is possible.

There was nothing worse than getting high after rehab knowing that I shouldn’t be getting high. I was in rehab seven times before I was 20 years old. After completing treatment each time, I learned something knew and after every relapse I wish the relapse never happened.

Rehab is a wonderful place if you take it seriously. My two final rehab stays changed my life.

I was ready to learn the concepts of recovery and willing to apply them to my life. After a while, it became second nature to me. Staying sober was possible.

About Today’s Guest Blogger:

Benny Emerling got sober at age 19 and has written about his journey to recovery: https://ouryoungaddicts.com/2016/11/03/what-it-was-like-then-and-what-its-like-now/

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

5 Reasons This Young Person Decided to Stop Drinking Completely

Print

 The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese proverb

Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb

Having just written that title, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have called this article “5 Reasons I HAD To Stop Drinking Completely” instead. Maybe that would be more accurate considering the fact that my life at that point simply wasn’t worth living; not to me anyway. However, when it all comes down to it, it was my decision, whatever the reasoning.  I was 14 years old when I first tasted alcohol. I was sitting in the local park with some guys from school, they were drinking either whatever one of them had stolen from their parents’ drinks cabinet or just simply stole from a store. Someone passed me a bottle of bourbon and they rest, as they say, is history.

I was kind of average at school – medium popularity, medium looks, medium grades, medium everything. After that night, they guys I sat with treated me differently – in class, on the basketball court, outside of school. It was like I had been accepted into some secret fraternal gang only the popular kids were part of. It made me feel cool to be like them. It sounds so sad now, but it’s how I felt. It wasn’t long before I was the one stealing alcohol from my parents or the local store.

That was 14 years ago. I’m 28 now and I have been sober for just over 4 years. Basically, I flunked school, ended up in a dead-end job (which I lost pretty quickly) and got married at 18. We were together less time than I have now been sober. My drinking became so out of control so quickly that nobody knew what to do with me. More so, I didn’t know what to do with me. I was in an inescapable hell. I thought that for years and years. But I was wrong. This article isn’t about my recovery, how I ended up in rehab or what it’s like living my life as a sober. It’s why I decided (or had) to stop drinking completely. It all boiled down to the following 5 reasons, which I’d like to share:

#1. Family

From the age of about 16, my family (my parents and my 2 sisters) started to distance themselves from me. I can see that now. Failure at school, constant arguments about where I was going, where I was getting my money from, and the smell of booze at the dinner table. A year later, having had enough and maybe the pressure of self-guilt forced my Dad to kick me out of the house. I lived in the garden for a while, believe it or not, in a tree house he had built for us years before. Soon after, I was crashing in the shabby apartments of other drunks. I didn’t see my family for years. We talk now that I’m sober but I can hear the strain in their voices. They’ve never invited me to stay over, but I do visit during the day sometimes. And we talk.

#2. Friends

Did those guys back in the park stay my friends? Nope, of course not. I was disowned by them just like I was eventually disowned by my family. Any other friends I had soon went the same way. A drunk with no-one to talk at but himself is an even sadder drunk. My inescapable hell.

#3. Relationships

Like I said before, in all the craziness with my obvious alcohol addiction, I got married. What was she thinking? In all the years of my drinking, I never could keep a relationship. Second dates were rarer than free drinks at my local bar… Still, we met, I thought I was in love and we tied the knot. Her parents weren’t impressed and mine didn’t even come to the wedding. My verbal abuse, my moods, my sullenness, and my constant drinking saw her walk out the door about a year and a half later; she tried her best to help me, she was patient and helpful, but I was in no place to be helped.

#4. Health

Alcohol will kill you in time. Its accompanying medical issues will see you in your grave. In all honesty, even though I felt like it many times, I didn’t want to die. I just wanted to wake up different each day but I never did. Withdrawal in rehab was just about bearable – in fact, it was nothing I hadn’t done before as a drunk. Vomiting, shaking, screaming, crying.

#5. Sadness

I have included this because this was simply how I felt every single day of my drinking years. Terrible, terrible sadness. Some may call it self-pity or even depression, but for me it was just plain sadness, all part of my inescapable hell.

Young & Sober

So, that’s why. I have written stuff like this before – in my diaries, my journals, and other notebooks. Writing is part of my new, sober life and my ongoing recovery. Writing I can control and is definitely at the opposite end of the spectrum to my alcohol addiction. Just over 4 years sober and so many things that happened before have come more into my perspective and my understanding. I’m 28 but I often feel like I’ve lived the life of someone far older. So these were (and still are) the 5 reasons I decided to stop drinking completely: family, friends, relationships, health and sadness. If you have decided to quit your drinking for good, what was your main motivation for doing so? Please feel free to leave a comment below.

From one of my favorite songs – “Go easy, step lightly, stay free.”

About Our Guest Blogger:

carl-t-guest-bloggerI’m Carl Towns, a 28-year-old wanna-be writer; I am also a recovering addict in the path of self-discovery. My goal is to learn as many things as possible and to seize every single moment I live, pretty much trying to make up for all that I missed on the years I was lost in drugs and alcohol (among other things). I’m in love with tech, cars and pretty much anything that can be found online.

 

 

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Print

The first time I ever got drunk was when I was 9 years old from an anise-flavoured drink we call Aguardiente. I come from a Colombian-born family who immigrated to Southern California and naturally, Colombian’s like to party. I was a curious kid and I loved how it made me feel but things escalated. At age 14 I smoked marijuana, at the age of 19 I tried meth and at the age of 23, I ended up arrested in Idaho on drug charges and was given a two-year sentence. I came from a loving family, my parents worked hard to provide for my siblings and I. So when I entered rehab and came out, these are 4 important lifestyle changes that turned my life around to help me stay sober:

I changed my sleeping pattern

Having a healthy sleep pattern helped a big deal to have a much better life. Our bodies require an average of 8 hours of sleep a day and depriving it of this amount can lead to severe consequences in the future. Heart problems and focus problems are some of the many effects that sleeping less than what’s recommended can bring to us.

By having a good sleeping pattern I was able to better concentrate on my daily tasks and my work. I was more focused on my priorities and this allowed me to improve my performance at my job and my own personal life. It also made me feel healthier, awake, motivated and eager to take up on new challenges.

I changed my diet/exercised regularly

Adopting a healthy new lifestyle is what changes your attitude towards life. Eating better and exercising were 2 of the main things that improved everything about me making a huge difference on my everyday. By starting a healthier diet I felt energized and was able to have a much more balanced life-rhythm. Healthier food meant better moods and overall better acceptance of the person I was turning into. Exercise helped me to feel fit, work on my self-esteem and gain more respect towards my mind and my body. Working out has a unique effect on how we perceive life itself. We become more positive and happier, this is due to the fact that by embracing a daily routine, our brains release the same chemicals as when we’re happy or in love, making us feel a lot better about ourselves.

I learned what gratitude was

When I was using, I was self-centered and blamed everyone around me for my problems. Reliving and dwelling on my past was counterproductive but focusing on a new healthier life was what helped me become sober. Becoming grateful for my friends, family, job, lifestyle and all around what is “good” in my life helped me stay on track with my sobriety!

I found new hobbies

By discovering new interests that were both healthy and productive, I got to work on my life as a big project built on milestones that I myself have set. Finding new hobbies meant using my free time in much better and more productive ways.It also allowed me to get passionate about new things and in the same way, learn new things that I’ve found very useful at some points in my life. Growing a passionate interest in an activity allowed me to see that I am capable of things I didn’t think I was, it also taught me that with motivation and dedication I can produce amazing results that made me be proud of what I did and also made me feel happy and useful.

When recovering from addictions, finding out how to properly invest your free time is perhaps one of the most relevant aspects to progress into a new healthy-sober-and-happy life. When combined with a healthy lifestyle that includes a good sleeping pattern and a workout routine, you start immediately feeling a lot better about yourself. Adopting new hobbies allows you to see progress in small projects that you consider important and entertaining. When you invest your time wisely, your priorities fall into place and relapse opportunities and temptations become scarce within time.

If you have any questions or would like to suggest any other lifestyle changes that you consider important to a better life please let us know in the comments below.

About Our Guest Blogger:

andy Hi, I am Andy! I was born in Bogota, Colombia, but raised in Los Angeles, California. I have been clean for 9 years now! I spend my time helping others with their recovery and growing my online business.

 

 

 

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 ©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Dealing with Your Child’s Addiction – A Father’s Story

It’s nice to get a dad’s perspective on parenting a young addict through to recovery. Today’s guest blogger shares his story. MWM

Print

Growing up, I experimented with methamphetamine on a few occasions. I was socially pressured into doing it but thankfully, it never took a hold of me. For some reason, the abnormal ecstasy put me off and I stopped after a few tries.

When I became a father and as I watched my kids grow, I was overwhelmed by the crippling fear that my kids may experiment as I did, and I wasn’t sure if they would be as lucky as I was. I tried not to talk to them about drugs or substance abuse because I believed if I avoided it, it would not come up.

My son, Jake started taking drugs at 14. I missed the initial signs and I have never stopped blaming myself. Reading Rose’s post on addiction tell-tale signs, I can’t help but think things might have turned out differently if I had known what to look out for.

How It All Began

Jake was never a gregarious child but he seemed more withdrawn soon after his 14th birthday. His grades also started to drop and we worried he was struggling with some emotional changes as a teenager.

My wife and I tried to talk to him, but he never indicated there was a problem. We tried to be more communicative, did all the fun things he liked, and paid more attention to his study habits. This seemed to work initially as he talked a bit more and got more involved at home. But he was never the same and his grades didn’t see much improvement.

As time passed, Jake started finding more excuses to go out at odd hours, became disrespectful and stopped caring about his appearance. He didn’t do well at school and could care less. He would have mood swings from talkative and animated to withdrawn. He would also get uncharacteristically aggressive on occasions.

Jake was away at school most of the time, so we did not see his condition progress.forward-1276291_1920

It Was Not Very Obvious

When you think of drug abuse, you think of prominent symptoms like dilated pupils and conspicuous, uncontrollable cravings. This wasn’t the case with Jake as far as we could see. Also, he hardly ever asked for money so we were more concerned than suspicious.

The changes in him caused us enough concern to seek help from counsellors. It was suggested that Jake may be dealing with substance abuse. We broached the subject with him but he would always deny the fact. Something was wrong but we were at a loss for what it was.

Discovering the Addiction

A year later, when Jake came home for a summer holiday, he was far gone in his addiction. He was skinny, outright depressed, was very easily agitated, slept a lot and was often tired. He also had a seizure once. It was clear to us by then that he was struggling with substance abuse.

Our first reaction naturally was panic. We wanted to immediately take him to a rehab center but a friend of the family advised us against that. She said any action had to be taken with his consent and after due consultation with him. According to her, taking any actions without first talking it over with Jake was likely to put him in a “me vs them” mentality.

Thanks to her advice, we were able to first:

  • Discuss the situation with Jake – At first, he was defensive. But he eventually acknowledged that his addiction was harming him and that he needed help. He wasn’t very forthcoming with information. He would not tell us why or how he started abusing drugs but we were content to leave that to the specialists.
  • Agree on treatment – We were able to get Jake to agree to professional help. This was tough. As a teenager, he could not face the reality of being a drug addict. The psychological implications of getting help was more profound than we imagined.

Please note that these processes took several days. We did not try to immediately stop him from taking the drugs because we understood stopping cold turkey without professional supervision could be dangerous.

Jake’s Treatment, Recovery and Rehabilitation

After researching our options, we found a rehab centre out of town. Jake wanted to be away from the people that knew him.

The rehab professionals were amazing. It’s hard enough dealing with a teenager that has no addiction problems. The experts were able to get through to Jake in a short time and his outlook changed. I may not be able to go into details, but his treatment involved:

  • Counselling by rehab experts; and
  • Clinical therapy (nutrition, exercise and medication) to manage detox and withdrawal – this helped to soften the withdrawal symptoms like agitation and irritability, anxiety, fatigue and depression.

The terrible thing about substance addiction of any kind is the lasting effects it has on your body even after the addiction. We learned that drug chemicals lodge in fatty issues, which not only exposes the patient to health risks, but can easily trigger relapse. We are sure the detox process went a long way in making his treatment effectual.

Youth Support Group Overseen By Trained Professionals

The rehab centre had a support group for youth where they were made to relate with each other on a broad range of topics other than their addiction. I think this significantly helped Jake because it made him learn to communicate again, to feel like a normal individual with more to him than his addictions.

We were also counselled on how to relate with Jake and provide him with the kind of support he needed to stay strong. We provided him with a warm and loving environment, taking care not to make him the centre of attraction as this could cause him to withdraw.

Notes

Treatment, especially the detox phase, was not easy. Initially, there were times when Jake would ask to come home, promising to stay sober. He would also try to blackmail us into feeling that we had left him alone to suffer at rehab. We remain grateful to the rehab experts for how they handled the situation and for their advice on responding to every scenario.

We were also advised alongside Jake on how to deal with tricky situations such as:

  • Meeting friends from his addiction days.
  • Meeting his old drug dealer(s).
  • Handling romantic relationships from his addiction days.
  • Finding meaning and substance in life through sober eyes.

Jake has been sober for one year now. We all continue to get counseling from the rehab specialists and we believe that Jake is on his way to a fulfilled life.

About Today’s Guest Blogger:

Today’s guest blogger is a father from North-West London in the UK. His son has been clean for a year now but he’s always conscious that problems like these never really go away. He appreciates if you would read the tale of his son Jake and how the family missed the signs of his drug addiction. Just knowing he’s been able to help other families out there with their tale helps immeasurably.

Article Source: addictionhelper.com

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

 

©2017 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

 

The Trek to Treatment

Imagine a blizzard. Icy-cold temps. Blustery wind gusts. Slow-go traffic. Slippery roads.

Now add in the emotional toll of white-knuckle driving with your a 21-year-old kid on the way to an in-patient treatment program. He needed to check in by 9 a.m., so we had to leave extra early to make it through rush-hour traffic complicated with winter weather.

What normally would have been about a 45 to 60 minute drive was double that. Let me say, it was a long drive for many reasons.

There was plenty to say yet very little conversation. My son slept – thank goodness. I concentrated on the road and listened to the radio, and I’ll always remember hearing an upbeat song that morning that has had great impact on my attitude:

Best day of my life,” by a group called American Authors.

Indeed, it was a good day and one our family had been hoping, praying and waiting for as we loved our son through addiction. Now, whenever that song comes on the radio, I remember the trek to treatment – not just that December morning, but the years that led up to it and the relapse that followed. In spite of that, however, it was our son’s first successful completion of a program and it laid the foundation for his future recovery.

For all the parents and treatment pros out there, it strikes me as important to recognize that each day is an opportunity forward, an opportunity to have the best day of my life even though the path may be long and difficult.

Midwestern Mama

©2016 Our Young Addicts            All Rights Reserved

My Story of Recovery 1000 – Meet Randy Anderson

Through my work with the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation, I’ve had the opportunity to get acquainted with board member Randy Anderson. Here,  he shares his story of recovery with gems for parents, treatment pros and young people. Way to go, Randy, for being such a wonderful voice and inspiration! MWM

My name is Randy Anderson and I’m a person in long term recovery. What that means to me is I haven’t had to use drugs or alcohol or any mind or mood altering substance since January 9th 2005. Because of my recovery I’m able to be a husband, a son, an uncle, a brother. I’m able to own a home, vote, have a job that I love, go to school, and even pay taxes. Today I’m able to live life on life’s terms and to be present every day in my own life.

My “rock bottom” occurred in 2004 when my home was raided by a DEA drug task force and I was arrested for selling drugs to support a drug habit that had become so enormous and all-consuming, selling drugs was the only option I felt I had left. After spending a short time in jail I was offered a lifesaving procedure for my disease and that procedure was affordable, effective treatment for my substance use disorder.

After taking nearly 10 months to complete a 60-day treatment program and finding a life of recovery, I had to face the consequences for my criminal activity. Nothing could prepare me for what would happen next. On July 6, 2005, I would be sentenced to 87 months in federal prison. As a first-time non-violent drug offender who was now on the path of recovery, I never imagined such a lengthy prison term would be given to me, even though my very expensive private attorney continually warned me that I was looking at a multiple year sentence. Even if I had not yet found recovery, more time in treatment is what I would have needed, not prison. I can’t believe our country incarcerates someone for so long with no consideration for the positive changes made in one’s life. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why me? I didn’t burglarize anyone, I didn’t assault or kill anyone, I didn’t steal from any person or businesses to support my habit and I was even paying my taxes.” On August 17, 2005, the worst day of my life, two of my dear friends drove me to Waseca Minnesota so I could self-surrendered to federal prison and begin serving my prison term.

felon-shirt

I did serve out my time and was eventually released in 2009. I maintained my recovery throughout my incarceration because I truly believed my life would be better without the use of any mind or mood altering substances. Upon release, like many that get out of prison, I was required to be supervised, for me that was to be a period of 48 months. Because I decided long ago to do whatever it takes to get my life back, I did absolutely everything that was required of me and because of that I was released after only 20 months of supervision.

By this time, I was working full time as a home improvement sales person. I did that for a few years and then, after becoming unemployed, I decided maybe it was time for a career change. With great trepidation and the GED I earned in federal prison, I enrolled in college at 43 years old, with the encouragement and support of my brilliant wife. I often refer to my first day of college as the second scariest day of my life, with the first being self-surrendering to federal prison. I enrolled in college to become an addiction counselor; something that was a dream of mine since receiving the gift of recovery.

Through the journey of college and becoming an addiction counselor, I found so many causes that I felt compelled to become involved with. One that I’m most proud of is becoming a Steering Committee member for the Minnesota Second Chance Coalition. As a member of that coalition, I had several opportunities to testify in front of a variety of Minnesota legislators and legislative committees to change the drug sentencing guidelines in the state of Minnesota. I truly believe that what had happened to me should never happen to someone else and partly because of my testimony Minnesota did in fact change the drug sentencing guidelines and approximately 700 individuals in Minnesota will not go to prison each year.  There are many more details to the drug sentencing reform that I could probably write two more pages, those changes took effect August 1st 2016. Another major achievement that I’m extremely proud of was being ask to sit on the board of directors for the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation(SRHF). Working with SRHF has provided me countless opportunities to tell my story of recovery. I’m also responsible for training and educated individuals, including law enforcement and non-ems first responders, about the life saving opioid reversal medication Naloxone. I’m also a volunteer for serval organizations including Minnesota Recovery Connection(MRC), Fed Up Coalition, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and the Minnesota Association of Resources for Recovery and Chemical Health (MARRCH). I did complete college and receive my Associates of Science degree in Addiction counseling and now work as a full time alcohol and drug counselor at the very same facility where I found recovery nearly 12 years ago.

I never imagined the life I live today would ever be possible. I often ask myself when will I wake up from this dream? Well, the fact is this is no dream – it’s the life that I live and it’s only possible because of my recovery.

I saw the movie “The Equalizer” with Denzel Washington, not too shabby I might add, at the beginning of that movie it displayed a quote which I connected with and will forever hold close to my heart. “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain. Now I know why…

About this week’s guest blogger: Randy Anderson, ADC-T

Randy Anderson.jpgMy name is Randy Anderson and I’m a person in long term recovery from the disease of addiction. After receiving the life-saving gifts of treatment and recovery, I completed my A.S. degree in addiction counseling at Minneapolis Community & Technical College in 2015. I now work as a full-time alcohol and drug counselor at RS EDEN/Eden House – the very same treatment facility where I was once a client. A passionate advocate for recovery and reform, I serve as a member of the MN Second Chance Coalition Steering Committee and I am actively involved in the MN Association of Resources for Recovery and Chemical Health (MARRCH). I’m on the Board of Directors for the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation, the organization responsible for passing Steve’s Law in 2014. One of my main duties with the foundation is overdose prevention, my responsibilities include training law enforcement, non-EMS, the public and anyone who wants to carry and know how to administer Naloxone, the medication to reverse an opioid overdose. People can and do recover from addiction. I’m living proof. I am currently pursuing my B.A. degree in human services at Bethel University and live with my wife, dog, and cat in Golden Valley, MN. #WeDoRecover #RecoveryWorks

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Wisdom Teeth & Rx Pain Meds

With high school and college students on break in the weeks ahead, this is a popular time to schedule having their wisdom teeth out. They don’t have to rush back to school and can get some R&R at home. It’s generally an easy procedure with few complications and only moderate discomfort for a few days following the extraction.

Avoid Prescription Pain Medications

However, in an effort to completely alleviate pain, dentists and oral surgeons may prescribe Vicodin or another type of pain medication. These are opioids and are highly addictive, and should be monitored closely if not entirely avoided. Often an over-the-counter medication will be sufficient – a far better option than a highly additive prescription pain medication.

From time to time there are news stories about the dangers of pain meds following dental surgery. It’s important to pay attention to these and take precautions if your kid does end up with a prescription.

Take Precaution – Dispose or Lock Up Meds

When my daughter had her wisdom teeth out over spring break from college, she had a few Vicodin remaining that she didn’t need. She joked that on her campus these would sell for $5 per pill.

Fortunately she disposed of the pills, but the ease with which kids can get, sell and use opioids is horrifying, and can lead to addiction. Many counties now offer drop off days and times in a variety of convenient locations.

One of the other key prevention measures is to lock up medications so that there is not easy access and to “be the parent” by keeping track of the dose, timing and how your kid is feeling.

Midwestern Mama

©2016 Our Young Addicts            All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Red Flags Parents Can Look For When College-Aged Children Come Home For Break

College kids are arriving back home for Thanksgiving, and it can be an eye-opener for families – especially if there is substance use involved. Today’s guest blogger, Rose Lockinger, alerts us to red flags. MWM

Print

As a parent one thing that I worry about is whether or not my children will do drugs in the future. I worry about whether they will follow the same path that I went down. I wonder if they will be tempted in High School or go off to college and fall into a bad scene, and I sometimes think about what I can, or will able, to do in order to prevent this.

Luckily, my kids are still pretty young so this concern may be a bit preemptive, but with Thanksgiving break just around the corner and college students all around the country returning home for a quick visit, it got me thinking about what parents can look out for to see if their kids are doing drugs.

For the most part your children will never come right out with it and tell you that they have been smoking pot in college or that they tried cocaine, and what’s more is if they suffer from some sort of substance abuse problem, and are not just recreationally experimenting, they will do anything in order to hide their addiction.

The thing that is perhaps most concerning for a parent is that adolescence is a time when they can be especially defenseless against substance abuse.

That being said there are some red flags that you can look out for in order to see if your child is using drugs in college and I have listed a few of them below.

 Red Flags That Your Child May Be Abusing Drugs In College

  •  Their grades begin to drop

This is not always indicative of a substance abuse problem, but often times where there’s smoke there’s fire. Usually during a student’s freshman year their grades will decline compared to what marks they received in High School and this has to do with getting acclimated to the new environment and the higher degree of difficulty that college work brings. But if you notice a decline in grades that appears to be unrelated to anything, or a continued decline in grades then it may mean that your child is having issues with substance abuse.

  •  They continuously ask for money

Many college students are broke and have to rely on their parents for money, but if you notice that the $200 you sent your child just last week is gone because they needed to [insert excuse here], and this is a reoccurring theme, then your children may be having problems with substance abuse. Often times money is the easiest way to find out if your college aged child has a problem with substance abuse, and this is because drugs and drinking excessively takes a great deal of money to do. So if you find that you are giving your child more money than normal, talk to them about what is going on.

  •  You sense a disconnect in them

Once again this is not always a sign that substance abuse is at hand, but as a parent it is fairly easy to tell when something is off with your child. There is a difference between the normal teen discontentment and substance abuse, so if your gut is telling you that they may be using drug, you are probably correct. As much as people who use drugs believe that they do not affect them in a negative way, abusing substances of any kind creates a shift in the personality and it is noticeable to those around the person using. If during Thanksgiving break you notice that your child is acting strangely, ask them about it, and don’t just brush it off.

  • They begin to associate with drug related pop culture

I am going to date myself a bit here, but in the past if someone listened to Phish, The Grateful Dead, Bob Marley, etc., there was a really good possibility that they were using drugs. Children believe that this shift in their cultural tastes goes unnoticed by their parents, but in reality it doesn’t, and while it is completely normal for a kid’s tastes to develop as they move into young adulthood, if you find that their penchant for drug music or drug related movies increases, they may have an issue with substance abuse.

  • You actually find drugs or drug paraphernalia on them

This isn’t really a red flag, but more of a smoking gun, because the reality is, if your child felt the need to bring drugs home with them during a short break from school, this means that they more than likely are using quite often. It could possibly be indicative of a substance abuse problem or it could just be a phase they are going through, but either way it is important to address this with them, so that if there is a problem, it can be dealt with.

I think the best bit of advice I can really give, and one that comes out of my own experience with substance abuse, is that if you think that something is wrong, it more than likely is.

Drug addiction and alcoholism operate in such a way that they attempt to produce confusion and doubt in those closely affected by it.

This means the person addicted and their loved ones have just enough deniability as to its existence that they can turn the other way comfortably. This however does nothing but allow the addiction to grow unimpeded and results in more damage down the road.

So if you think that there is something going on with your kid then address it with them. If you are wrong then great, but if you are right, you may have the possibility out getting out ahead of their addiction and help them to avoid years of pain and trouble.

About Today’s Guest Blogger

Rose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.rose-lockinger-guest-blogger-2

You can find Rose Lockinger on LinkedIn, Facebook, & Instagram

Guest blog posts are welcome additions to the content on this website. Guest blog posts represent the views, opinions and experiences of the author and do not necessarily represent Our Young Addicts. Together, we provide parents and professionals with a variety of perspectives and information.

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.

Safe & Social

Alcohol is often present during holiday gatherings, so young adults get the sense that it’s part of the celebration. That’s not the message that parents intend to convey. Instead, we want our kids to be “Safe and Social.”

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to participate on a panel discussion with law enforcement and substance prevention specialists. It was organized by a local coalition, Partnership For Change, and taped by the local cable station. A key part of the discussion focused on the importance value of having a social host ordinance in your community, and I shared my “been there, done that” parenting perspective – what I call POP or Prevention-Oriented Parenting.

Working together, we can educate and help prevent underage drinking.

Rose McKinney aka Midwestern Mama

©2016 Our Young Addicts   All Rights Reserved.