In November 2011, in the craziness and chaos of her son’s addiction, this is the Thanksgiving Blessing that Midwestern Mama shared in her…
Four years ago on Thanksgiving, Midwestern Mama began writing a column on addiction and parenting for the St. Paul Pioneer Press. It included this Thanksgiving blessing:
In this season of Thanksgiving, my blessings are plenty and my hope is eternal. Bless the addicts, their families and friends, who pray they will know brighter days ahead.Days when passion, goodness, potential and wisdom will again guide their lives. Days when there is triumph over addiction. Days when the people we once knew return. Days when they believe we’re on their side and would help in any way we could.
Days when they will know they always have been and always will be loved.
©2015 Our Young Addicts All Rights Reserved
Lately, we’ve had very little drama, very little chaos in our family. For this, I am grateful. Very, very grateful. As the mom of a 20-something kid in recovery, I have every reason to be happy and appreciative for normal, everyday things – things that many might take for granted.
Part of accepting and moving forward in the darkest and most difficult of times required that I pause to recognize whatever positive I could – at times when it seemed somewhat impossible. I embraced the “attitude of gratitude” with all the energy and commitment that I could during the addiction days.
If you’re a parent dealing with a young person’s addiction, please know you are not alone. Reach out. There are plenty of us moms and dads who know what you’re going through. We are a community ready to share experiences, resources and hopes.
I am grateful for the Our Young Addicts community. Together, we are finding and sharing gratitude no matter the circumstances.
Check out our 30 Days of Gratitude on Twitter to see what I’m thankful for this year, and add your own days of gratitude. You’ll find these posts if you search for #Gratitude2015, and see what was there last year #Gratitude2014
On Thanksgiving Day, please check out the special blessing that I wrote at a time when things seems hopeless, at a time when being hopeful was the most important thing that I could do.
Ever wonder if your kid will overcome addiction and live a life in recovery? Never stop believing that it is possible. Treatment works. Recovery is possible. Today’s guest blogger is a young man who did just that. Meet Brook McKenzie and find hope in his story… MWM
With no tattoos, barely any muscles, and a quiet, sensitive nature, I had very few credentials to suggest I would survive in prison. Yet there I was, orange jumpsuit and a shaved head. At 19 years old, 155 lbs., I was not much to behold. If anything I was the poster-child for “easy prey.”
How often I wished that I had never taken that first hit of crack-cocaine. How many times I wondered at how different things might have been.
Like many, I grew up in a great family with plenty of opportunity. It would have been much more likely for me to go on to graduate college, embark on a career and start a family than to wind up in prison. But that was not at all what happened. For years my parents had been wringing their hands in dismay. They would say things like, “how did this happen?” “why can’t you stop?” “can you quit for us, if not for yourself?” These were questions I sometimes had answers for, but none of them really made sense when set against the backdrop of my family’s life in shambles.
I was fifteen years old when my addiction to crack-cocaine began, a child really – with little idea as to what was in store.
This nightmare of enslavement would continue for me and my family for the next 20 years. There would be late night phone calls, desperate pleas, thefts, bail bonds, disappearances, missing purses, missed holidays, and an assortment of promises always ending in disappointment. As a child I had wanted to go to college and become a dentist. I loved my parents and they loved me. My younger brother was my sidekick. Together, we would spend our youth exploring the woods, fishing, going on family vacations and making forts and tree-houses. I played baseball every year and enjoyed a host of childhood friends. From a very young age our parents taught us how to be responsible, courteous, and conscientious young men.
As hard working, middle class young adults, our parents sought to provide for us the best that they could, and all they could. They did a wonderful job! Still, in my heart, I sense that they felt to blame for what happened to me. But in reality, what happened to me, happened to each of us. Addiction is a family disease and it touches all lives that come into contact with it.
Between the years 1999-2009, I served about 8 years in prison as a result of my drug addiction, and my family served it with me. I remember the look on my mother’s face when she would come to visit. There would be times that I would bring a black eye to the visitation room with me. She would squeeze my hand while recounting all that had happened since I’d been away. My brother had graduated high school, gone on to college, and earned his bachelor’s degree. He even met the love of his life while traveling abroad.
Sometimes during these visits – when I could muster the courage – I’d look my Mom in the eye and promise her – with all of my heart – that things would be different next time – I had changed. Unbeknownst to me, and certainly to her – none of us had come to a full realization as to the severity of my condition.
Once released from prison, and with every good intention to live my life reformed for the sake of all my family had been through – I would relapse! Whether it took a few days or a few weeks, I always went back to it, as if asleep and unable to awake. Similar to a nightmare, I would “come to” in complete shock – “how did I get here again?” “What happened?”
The horror I felt would consume me. How could I do this to my family? And the thoughts would come: wouldn’t it be better to kill myself now and let my family begin to heal than to go on causing harm indefinitely? Ashamed, I dared not show my face to anyone. The only way I knew to cover up what I felt was to go on to the bitter end, which for me, always resulted in another arrest.
As my addiction progressed, I found that I would steal for drugs, lie; even prostitute myself…I would walk miles and miles to get my next fix, roaming the streets like a zombie.
Whatever I had to do, I would do, my conscience under siege. The pain I felt inside, the loneliness and sense of isolation was unbearable. During these times I would fall to my knees and pray, “God please help me, please show me another way.”
Then, in 2010, as though an answer to my prayers, I was presented with an opportunity to go to treatment for my addiction. With a small duffel bag of clothes in tow I embarked on a life changing experience that would prove to be the launching pad for a brand new life in recovery. I haven’t been back to prison since. The truths I learned in treatment are the truths I carry with me today and they are the same truths that I share with others, with families and with those similarly afflicted.
…Not too long ago I accepted the position of Outreach Coordinator for a well-known drug and alcohol treatment center in Southern Orange County, California. This role allows me the privilege to interact with other people’s parents and family members on a daily basis. Together, the families and I walk hand in hand towards getting their loved ones the help that they need and deserve. Ironically, and despite it being a big part of what fuels my passion to serve others, my own story rarely comes up any more. As time moves on, there are newer stories to share, with brand new faces and brand new names; stories of hope, and stories of redemption.
Today, when my Mother calls me I answer the phone and we talk. We don’t talk about the things we used to discuss, we talk about our gratitude; we talk about life. My father, same thing. And as for my younger brother, well, we are best of friends again. He now has two young children of his own, two girls, and I get to be an uncle to both of them. By the Grace of God, my nieces will never know me as a drug addict, a convict or a thief.
They will only know the real me; the one that God intended me to be…
Brook McKenzie serves as Outreach Coordinator and Family Liaison for New Method Wellness treatment center. His passion is working with families to help interrupt the cycle of addiction.
Drugs aren’t worth it. For siblings of drug users, many – fortunately – come to this conclusion. I’m reblogging this post from Know The Truth, because it shows the impact that addiction has on families. MWM
I’m Syd. I’m a 14 (soon to be 15) year old freshman at Cannon Falls high school, and this is my story.
I have been hoping for the last 10 years that my sister would get better. I’m still hoping. My sister is an alcoholic and drug addict. It’s terrible seeing the person you love the most struggle with substance abuse. All the DWI and DUI’s have ruined her life. The drugs ruined her life. It’s hard to even explain. All the times she came home to our dads house drunken and disoriented. All the times I lied for her so she would get yelled at by our dad. That really takes a lot out of a person. Drugs and alcohol aren’t cool or the new hip thing. They ruin people’s lives.
I myself have dealt with methods that aren’t very good to relieve what I go through. I used to…
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A dad’s story – Bill Rummler from @SRHopeF guest blogs for us this week. https://ouryoungaddicts.com/blog/ #OYACommunity #StevesLaw
This week’s guest blogger is Bill Rummler from the Steve Rummler Hope Foundation. In this poignant blog post, he share’s his son’s story of pain, addiction and death, and the efforts of the Foundation to prevent future opioid-overdose deaths.
Our son Steve Rummler was one of the more than 16,000 people who died from prescription drug overdoses in 2011. He died on July 1 of that year at the age of 43 and we miss him more than you can ever know.
Steve was a very intelligent and highly talented person. He was a deans list college student. He was a competitive athlete, an all-conference soccer player and division-one college prospect. He was a gifted piano, guitar and drum player who wrote many beautiful songs. He was an astute businessman and a top financial advisor in the Twin Cities.
All who knew Steve respected and loved him. He was very caring, loved being with people and was engaged to be married to Lexi, his high school sweetheart. He was in many ways the all around success story that every parent hopes their child will become. He was living the American dream and we were very proud of him.
In 1996, at the age of 28, Steve suffered a severe injury to his spine, which began his tragic story. He sought medical advice from the top doctors in Minnesota and they were never able to find what caused the shock like symptoms that surged up and down his spine every single day. The pain was especially severe at night and he suffered from lack of sleep for the rest of his life. Steve continued to work hard and play music and sports. He even ran a marathon in under four hours. He was able to be quite active during the day, but the nights were intolerable.
The pain and lack of a medical diagnosis caused Steve to become depressed. So, he was prescribed anti-depressants, which were supposed to help his depression and his pain.
He soon began to like the idea of getting help from a pill. This was a major fork in the road of his life. He had chosen pills, rather than other healthier alternatives.
The pain continued and he was then prescribed anti-anxiety medications known as benzodiazepines.
Finally, in 2005, when Steve was 37 years old, he was prescribed opioids by our family doctor. This doctor was well intentioned, but unaware of the potential side effects of these highly addictive pills.
The FDA was calling them safe and effective for treatment of long-term pain. And the pill manufacturers were making huge profits as a result.
This was the beginning of Steve’s end of life struggle. He soon began to show many of the signs of addiction, which included taking more pills than were prescribed to him in order to maintain his high and seemingly “treat” his pain. He had become totally convinced that these heroin-like pills were the only way to solve his pain problem. After he died we found a note in his handwriting: “at first it was a lifeline, now it is a noose around my neck”.
Addiction is a disease of the brain, the most valuable asset we have for dealing with life’s challenges. But, when something adversely affects our brain, it can severely limit our ability to make good choices. Taking a narcotic did not eliminate the cause of Steve’s pain; it simply made him less aware of it. His brain became numb to the pain just as it became numb to most things that matter in life.
We sadly saw this begin to unfold with Steve. Not long after he began taking opioids, we began to notice serious side effects. He lost his enthusiasm for most things in life. He often seemed out of it and would sometimes slur his words. He became less sharp in business and began losing clients. He became more irritable and blamed others for his problems. He stopped paying his taxes on time and was less punctual. He spent most his waking hours sedentary on the couch, stayed up late, slept in late and rarely exercised. He was often sick and would go for days without returning our phone calls. Always honest, he began to lie. And the pain was still there and likely even worse. So he wanted more opioids. Steve was very sick with an addiction to the very pills that were supposed to help him.
We could see this tragic scenario unfolding, but were powerless to help. Steve had to help himself.
But the drugs numbed his brain and made him unable to do so. We begged and pleaded with him to try any alternative for help with his pain. It was heart wrenching for us.
We thought we had been good parents and now all was unraveling before our very eyes.
It is difficult for anyone to take a single opioid pill without it having some effect on that person’s mind. These drugs are basically a form of heroin that can produce a high that is very difficult to resist. Steve used prescription opioids for over five years, in ever increasing amounts. In reality, he likely became addicted to them within the first few months.
While opioids are very risky and can lead to death when used to treat chronic pain, they do have a benefit for acute and end of life pain.
In 1995 my sister Peggy was dying from pancreatic cancer and in great pain. Her morphine pump worked wonders for her. She was in a constant state of euphoria from the drugs, but her pain was tolerable until the end. Sadly, Steve became addicted to those very drugs that were so helpful to his Aunt Peggy. For him, with chronic pain, it was a death sentence.
The tragedy of Steve’s untimely death and our resulting grief, have motivated us to work very hard to prevent others from suffering as he did.
The Steve Rummler Hope Foundation (SRHF) was born out of Steve’s death. Its mission is “to heighten awareness of the dilemma of chronic pain and the disease of addiction and to improve the associated care process”. Through its Overdose Prevention and Prescriber Education programs, and through its Advocacy efforts, SRHF saves lives, educates healthcare professionals, and engages the public as well as public-policy-makers in addressing the epidemic of opioid addiction and overdose deaths. (Opioids include narcotic painkillers and heroin). This public health crisis has been labeled an “epidemic” by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
There is much that needs to be done to help pain patients avoid the risks of addiction and bring this epidemic under control. Our emphasis has been to focus first on the areas in which we can have the greatest immediate impact: stopping overdose deaths and educating physicians about the responsible prescribing of opioids.
At its inception in 2011, SRHF founders explored the nonprofit environment for organizations focused on providing hope for those with chronic pain and addiction. They found that there was a need for this focus and were encouraged to fill the gap. To date, this uniqueness has led to many opportunities for success and many demands from the community for us to do more.
We encourage you to get to know more about the SRHF. Please visit our website at:
Here you can learn about Steve’s Law, a Minnesota good-Samaritan and Naloxone law, named for our son Steve. The implementation of this law (similar laws are in effect in many other states) has already saved, and will continue to save, many lives. Our website has a wealth of other information, too.
Please consider making a donation to help us continue our life saving work. Anything you can give will be very much appreciated.
Finally, we encourage you to tell others about us and join us in our effort to change and save lives.
Thank you for your interest.
Thank you, Bill, for sharing your story with the #OYACommunity. We are grateful for your efforts and accomplishment on behalf of families and friends who are concerned about substance use and addiction.
©2015 Our Young Addicts All Rights Reserved