Trust is one of the greatest gifts of recovery. During March, Midwestern Mama contemplates the meaning of trust and highlights daily examples of the trust that is growing in her family.
Whenever the word trust comes up, most people mention things like honesty, integrity and confidence. We also tend to talk about trust as something that is earned. And, boy oh boy, if trust is broken, that’s a major no-no – for certain, that’s when rebuilding trust takes time to earn back.
One of the first signs we noticed when my son was struggling during high school was that we could no longer trust him. He’d say one thing and do another. He’d never be where he said he was going to be including places like work or school. (Amazingly, he almost always was at sports practice – it was more a matter of what he did or where he went before and after!) This dishonesty also encompassed stealing and outright lying.
Who was this young man? Why was he breaking our trust? As we would find out, trust and honesty disappeared as his drug use escalated. He had never given us reason to not trust him. It was devastating.
With kids, sure trust is earned; but is earned as they grow up. I think we have a different set of standards for our children than we have for strangers or even acquaintances. Of course we trust family, right? Perhaps, that’s part of why it’s doubly difficult to rebuild broken trust.
In early recovery, it’s easy to trust too soon. Before they are ready for that responsibility and accountability. Before our wounds are healed. We think by granting them trust again that it will give them confidence. Instead, it can back fire especially with relapses. That’s even more devastating.
However, when trust is demonstrated, well, that’s when we begin to believe. That’s when trust grows!
Recently, here are some of the examples of trust that we’ve experienced:
- Today, I trust my son is saving money and paying off debts incurred from his years of addiction.
- Today, I trust my son will take his Suboxone as prescribed.
- Today, I trust my son has a job and will be at work.
- Today, I trust my son has the tools and desire to remain sober and resist relapse.
- Today, I trust my son will be home each night unless he’s made other arrangements.
- Today, I trust my son will stay sober when he experiences disappointments or tough times.
The growing trust that we are experiencing with our son is truly encouraging and energizing. Each of the examples above was something that even a few months ago, especially a year or more ago, was no longer a given in our family. Now, these things are possible. #Recovery #PositiveChange #TrustFeelsGood
Share with us the examples of trust you have right now with the young adults in your life – whether in active addiction or in the glory of recovery.