Addicts of all ages deserve a better, more fulfilling life. I strongly believe that no one wakes up and decides he wants to be an addict. If anything, it just happens. Sure, it’s the results or consequence of choices, but those likely weren’t the original intentions.
From a parent’s perspective, I think it’s understandable – even reasonable – to ask, “What were you thinking?” Frankly, the addict wasn’t thinking, wasn’t even capable of thinking. Addiction got the better of them.
Yet, as a parent, I still wonder why my young addict says and does the things he says and does. More over, I grapple with why the words and actions rarely match up. And then I remember that it’s part addiction, part mental illness (in my son’s case), partly a lack of perspective (as Mid Atlantic Mom wrote about), and partly age, partly the chemicals (substance and brain). It’s many, many parts that add up all funky.
I can rationalize this. I can understand it on a text book level. I can even relate to it from an experiential perspective – after all, we’ve been witness to this for quite a few years.
Recognizing all this, I am again wondering what will happen next. Nothing will surprise me, good or bad. That’s just the reality of being the parent of a young addict. However, nothing will stop me from hoping and praying that this is the day that he makes another small commitment to sobriety and recovery, and that in time his steps will be bigger and more confident.
About two hours ago, my son received a second chance at continuing his recovery program in a new halfway house, the one he originally said he preferred. A bed became available. Funding became available. But we had to reach him and get a “yes” by 2 p.m. By the grace of God, we did reach him and he did say, “yes.”
We were willing and ready to give him a ride right then and there. He declined a ride from us. He says his friends (users themselves) will give him a ride there and ensure he arrives by 4 p.m. today. If not, the halfway house will have to give the bed and recovery opportunity to someone else … who really wants it.
The halfway house and the funder have done their parts, nothing short of a small miracle. Our son says, “yes.” That’s a small miracle, too. What will be a true miracle is if he actually shows up, on time and works the program. You know what they say: the program works when you work the program. Words are one thing, but actions are what it’s all about when it comes to sobriety and recovery.
I am grateful that he has another opportunity. (Since becoming an addict, this kid has had opportunity after opportunity. He seems to attract them. He also tends to waste them.)
Today, right now, I am praying for all of you and the individual places you are on your journey. You may be an addict. You may be a parent, a teacher, clergy, family member, neighbor. Whoever you are, I pray for you and am so glad you have joined Mid Atlantic Mom and me as part of our community of caring people who are concerned about the young addicts in our lives.
Will he show up at the new halfway house in the next 45 minutes? As soon as I know, I will share with you.
Journey on ….